Always happy to be alive after a ride - fear of riding?

[gabriellesca]

WOWOWOWOW - THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE! for your thoughtful advice and support. It means so much.

I LOVE my pedals - LOVE them. I love the control, the extra sense of power, and feeling 'one' with my bike. Its hard for me to really tell when this fear began because I was always a little sick to my stomach before a team ride. When I trained for the century in 2008, I rode in toe clips that were very lose on my left foot so I could always easily pull my left foot out quickly when I needed to. But I always felt nervous - riding that way was so new to me. And I always had the backup of the team. I was never expected to have to know how to fix a flat or my bike, or call cab - I had the sag wagon. My coach or mentor would usually ride with me - tell me what to do, when to go, etc. So I always had someone watching out for me.

Then after the ride I actually got sick with mono 2x in one year - so I didn't ride the whole of 2009 and then in 2010 I got back on the bike with clipless pedals and new shoes. But riding on my own. And I admit it, please don't yell at me, but I've never learned how to fix a flat, or a broken bike, etc. I have dropped my chain 2x and was very proud I didn't panic and was able to stop and clip out and fix my chain. I know I need to learn - but I always carry cash and my phone and have the numbers of local cabs programmed in.

My fear isn't a flat or a broken bike - I think its the fear of traffic, getting hit, or even just losing my balance on my own. One time when I was riding with the team I made the mistake of looking backward to see if they were coming because I was lost and a fell off the bike. I was in my sneakers and I didn't pull out in time. So I think the fear is really more about balance and traffic and then the pedals. Yesterday when I was coming down a big hill - just barely hitting 21mph, I do get very nervous. And when I was on the team I would also get nervous. Its fun as heck but 21 mph - I just feel like my balance is so iffy. I just don't feel great with balance most of the time. And with the pedals and traffic it just makes me very fearful of getting hit or getting in an accident.

I don't have any friends I can ride with. I have found a few meetup groups around me - and I really need to look into joining one of their groups - but they do 35 mile rides at 12 mph and I'm afraid 35 might be a bit much for me. I have a friend who is a serious cyclist who is moving back near me next year and we have plans to ride together and train for some rides. But I think you guys are right that it would help.

I didn't like riding in my sneakers with the pain on the bottom of my feet. I don't worry about impressing anyone. I really love my pedals and shoes - its just more about traffic and my balance. (If my ankle continues to act up like it has the last few weeks I may have to find other alternatives.)

I went and got a little mirror that is inset to the bottom of my handlebars and that helps because then I can see when traffic is approaching. But I'm still fearful of others. Yesterday I was riding and an older woman was hovering behind me, waiting for a moment to pass me safely, but then she honked 3 times when she did pass and it scared the crap out of me. (WHY do they do that?) So its drivers and my reaction to them that scares me more than anything. And my balance - I just never feel as though I'm all that balanced and secure.

You guys ROCK! I love love the different levels of support and experience and expertise on the site.

So advice on balance and the fear of being in an accident or hit? I'm not sure where it comes from. I do know that when I was on a team ride one time one rider who was new to clipless was riding up a hill and had to slow down because there was a red light but she didn't clip out in time because she was going up the hill so slowly and she fell over INTO a car. That REALLY effected me. She was fine but we were all really frightened by the experience (how to clip out on a steep hill when you're going slowly is a whole other post - scarrrrrrrry).

[Owlie]

First, if it'll make you feel better, learn how to fix a flat. There's tons of ways to go about doing it (YouTube, books, classes...), and practice it. It's something you should learn, and even if you never use it on the road, you at least know that you *can* fix it. At any rate, it'll save you money because you won't have to go to the LBS to have them change it.

About the roads...when I lived in Cleveland, I was pretty much forced to ride in fairly urban areas. I rode at non-peak traffic hours (during the day and early morning on weekends). Ride defensively and predictably, with a mirror if you so choose. Be visible. Take as many preventative measures as you can, but remember that most people really don't want to hit you. Get out there and enjoy your ride!

Keep riding. Your balance and confidence will improve with time.

[chicago]

learn how to fix a flat, fix your chain, repair your chain if it breaks... take a bike maintenance class, I did!! It's a great confidence booster. I ride alone all the time... 80 mile trips, out on bare roads alone. I am, at times, afraid a little... but I know... if my bike breaks beyond repair, I have money and a phone. If it's fixable, I can fix it

I had just got out of a relationship 6mo earlier to a very smart cyclist. I didn't need to know how to fix a flat, I had him After we split, I swore to never depend on anyone again for my bike stuff... except the hard stuff. I signed for a bike maintenance class to learn how to fix a flat, fix my chain, tweak my derailer(sp), etc, etc.

I signed up for the class... the only female in the class... being single again, I was feeling powerful, glad to be back on my own. I swore off relationships... I was done.

Guess who I'm now engaged to... the bike maintenance teacher, LOL!!

You just never know what you're gonna get by wanting to learn new things... might turn into a double winner, like mine

[OakLeaf]

LCI courses cover bike maintenance, too ... you could make progress on addressing both your fears in one weekend.

Search by state here: http://www.bikeleague.org/programs/e...e_schedule.php

[indysteel]

Chicago, that is an awesome story! Congrats! May the two of you enjoy many happy years together...riding and repairing bikes!!!

[OakLeaf]

One thing that will definitely be covered in any skills course - looking at the ground is a sure way to wind up on it, and that's never more true than at low speed. Keep your gaze up, only glance down periodically to check the surface. It's a huge temptation when you're feeling uncertain, and definitely something I deal with on the moto. Until you find a course, find a nice smooth swath of grass to practice low-speed drills on - a school athletic field, or maybe you have a lawn - somewhere that falling over won't hurt much, if at all, there are no cars, and you can test moves that you wouldn't be confident enough to try on the road.

[gabriellesca]

Thanks Oak - that's a great point. Because of a disability with my ankle, when I walk I have to watch where I'm going - mostly because my balance isn't secure. Which is why, I think balance is a big deal to me on the bike. But this does help. I don't know how often I look down at the pavement but this is a good thing for me to be aware of.

Chicago - LOVE LOVE that story. I should take a class - I will look at the link - thanks Oak.

Maybe just taking the time to take the course and talk to them and get their feedback on balance and traffic and clipping in and out, etc will help my fear!