I am exhausted. I can't sleep.
Diagnosing myself with an adjustment disorder... seriously, since I started working, I get in bed, feel exhausted and then can't fall asleep. When I actually do fall asleep, I wake up at 4:30 or so, which is normal for me at this time of year, but jeez, I can't continue on 3 hours of sleep.
I have so much paperwork, I've been working at home until 10:30 or 11:00 PM during this ramp up period. And it doesn't feel like I am doing therapy with anyone, even the parents. It feels like teaching. I am busy, I like my flexible schedule and the people i work with are nice. I even like my clients. Part of my distress is that I have little (no) training in working with behavior disordered kids who are less than 8 years old. I have a couple of clients who are 4 or 5! Yesterday I came home from doing play therapy with a 4 year old, with glitter glue all over my shirt! I actually think he made some progress, but, I really don't feel competent. I can deal with traumatized teenagers, though...
I know I don't have to stay here to do all of my 3300 hrs. for licensing, but I really don't want to change jobs after a year. I also know I am stressed because everything is new... but, I also realized, that last year, I truly found my niche at my internship. My first internship was OK, I learned a lot, but I finished in May feeling very competent and I am not using a lot of those skills now.
This too, shall pass. Thank G-d for my bike.