@channlluv:

The x ray is easily avoided by saying you "opt out" without having to give any explanation whatsoever. Cannot help with the pat down, but I've had it done several times. One time, because I was in a particularly bad mood, I asked to the TSA rep to please change her gloves. She did, a bit annoyed, though (so, we were even... mission accomplished).

I am thinking that asking for a private room may lead to the meltdown: you will have to wait, with tension building up. It might be easier to get the pat down on the spot, just look around the terminal. It does not take long; remember that the TSA person is uncomfortable, too, perhaps more than anyone else. In my last international flight, just last week, I opted out and was not patted, simply waived through the usual metal detector. Go figure.