If you are ok with your daughter doing the scan, I would just let her. I just had my first one a couple of days ago and it was no big deal. My image was not visible to anyone on the outside (even me) and it's really quick and simple. I was watching their system while waiting for my traveling companion to put on her shoes and they were alternating sending through one male and then one female. It was mostly done without even speaking instructions, it was that quick and simple.
As far as the pat down, I can't help you there. I haven't seen it (or experienced it), but I agree with Mimi - chances are that you'll not be selected anyway, so try not to get too worked up about it. Easier said than done, I know...



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