While I agree that a good fitting is in order, it may simply be that you haven't found the right saddle yet. No matter how you set up your bike, if your saddle is a torture device, you will have problems.

Some people have no saddle problems. Some get lucky with the first or second one they try. I'm sorry to say that others (like me) spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars over YEARS before finding the one that virutally disappears underneath you.

Saddle width is important, but it's a very easy metric to figure out. The harder ones are saddle shape and saddle cushioning/padding. Saddle shape is critical. Do you need a cut out? Or how about an indentation instead? How wide of a nose? T-shaped or pear shaped? Flat or curved? If the shape is wrong, it will affect how you sit on it and how you sit will absolutely affect comfort, chaffing, nerve issues and the like.

Unfortunately, there is no clear way to determine the best saddle for you (and your bike and your position on that bike). Trial and error. And not just switching them out all the time, but trying one for awhile, evaluating what was wrong about it, determining what caused that 'wrong' and then finding a saddle that doesn't have that same feature and trying again. So on and so on. It's very annoying, but trust me....once you find the right one, it's like a magical new world (no joke!).