Living a good enough life: being more comfortable with achievements

[Catrin]

That said, I really wish I wasn't so risk adverse...

This is an interesting discussion - I've always been the one to take large risks and have sometimes wondered what life would have been like if I had been a bit more adverse to taking them. That would have been a different person though, not "me"

[shootingstar]

This is an interesting discussion - I've always been the one to take large risks and have sometimes wondered what life would have been like if I had been a bit more adverse to taking them. That would have been a different person though, not "me"

When I was unemployed, I had a serious problem distillating all my different job experiences on my resume.
I think some of my jobs have changed me....has made me less shy. But what helped push that was some of my volunteer work prior to cycling where I saw people/dedicated volunteers passionate on issues speak out to the public.

Moving drastically from one province to another, has made me WAY MORE appreciative of the regional differences in Canada...geography, weather, politics and local culture. I feel more "Canadian", to know my own country in essence, better. Rather just an Ontario understanding/perspective where I was born and lived first 40+ yrs. of my life. It's not for every one and I wouldn't be saying this if not also living in major cities that were more multi-ethnic compared to a tiny town somewhere in Canada.

I don't consider myself a big risk taker....I don't go hiking/snowshoeing by myself, I have yet to go on a multi-day/weeks long bike trip solo, etc. Prior to dearie, I did take some vacation trips on my own. I don't think about "breaking free". It's more just taking opportunities or making big life decisions that looks risky to outsiders. It is possible to non-cyclists who see some of us cycling all over the place as an expression of "breaking free".

Taking multiple risks does mean dealing with some aloneness for first while when one must readjust to a new environment all over again.

[Bethany1]

I'm sure Pax can understand this because she works with mentally ill people.

Because I deal with several mental illnesses, achievements can be distorted. When on a manic high, I think I can do anything and anything/anyone who gets in my way gets trampled.

Your personal needs are bypassed by the need to achieve. Coworkers hate you because you know/can do everything better, faster and more efficient. You aren't trying to make them look bad, you just see everything in a different light. Everything becomes clearer and you are able to see beyond what is there. It's an amazing feeling and most bipolar people refuse to take meds because reality sucks. At some point though, you get overwhelmed because you take on more than you can handle and everything crashes to pieces making you look inept.

When you hit depression, you don't want to get out of bed. It hurts too much. Everything is an extreme effort and your job suffers big time. You can't finish up a project at work, your just barely get things done at work and your boss/coworkers start thinking you are lazy and don't care. Now you no longer have a job which is why many people with mental illnesses are homeless. Even on medication, it's a delicate balance.

It's frustrating to have dreams and goals that you may never achieve or only get bits and pieces of. What's even harder is that you look "normal" so no one understands. I can get jobs, but holding one down for long periods of time can take more effort than I can possibly give.

The biggest achievement for me is being able to manage a mental illness. I'm stable and have been able to keep it that way. I have a wonderful family. I have a couple of hobbies that I haven't dropped out of frustration or boredom that keep me sane. Still not sure about cycling, but if I drop it, at least I had fun while it lasted. I take my meds even though reality sucks and I don't want to lose what I have gained.

Achievements are stepping stones to happiness when used right or stumbling blocks when it backfires. It's being able to conquer both to the best of your ability that allows you to build something beautiful that you can be proud of.

[Catrin]

.... It's more just taking opportunities or making big life decisions that looks risky to outsiders. It is possible to non-cyclists who see some of us cycling all over the place as an expression of "breaking free".

Taking multiple risks does mean dealing with some aloneness for first while when one must readjust to a new environment all over again.

This!

"I" have never considered myself to actually be a "risk-taker". There are many ways to do that, and I did deal with major depression for years which manifested in some...unique ways...thankfully I was finally able to deal with the major trauma and PTSD that caused it in the first place. No problems with the depression in close to a decade now

Over the years I've become quite good with distilling my resume to support job-seeking, and it has been relatively easy to pull up stakes to move across the country. My focus seems to be changing though, while I WOULD move across the country for the right job, it would take a lot more to make it worth my while to do so. If my debt level were lower then perhaps this would be different...but it is a part of it.

I've several good friends in my church who are amazed at the things I "dare" to do alone - in their minds I am an extreme risk-taker. I guess opposites attract - but I am no where near where I once was in this department. Yes I go hiking/riding by myself and I am learning mountain biking at 51 - but that is far from my definition of "risk-taking". Compared to my younger years my life is quite boring/sedentary these days. I am sometimes amazed that I actually survived those years and am thankful for all that I have.