I am a plus size girl as well .... Have you ever checked out terrybicycle.com? They sell plus size clothing (as does Team Estrogen) and maybe the fact your shorts are 1) too small and 2) maybe not a high quality material is your problem. A 1X versus an XXL is possibly what you need.
I love Terry's t-short. The padding is not too much but is enough for comfort. Terry also sells several styles of chamois especially if you like a minimal chamois.
Personally can't imagine riding in jeans; even really stretchy ones. Too hot and way too constricting. If you need coverage, then consider a mountain style double short.



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