Depression

[indysteel]

Colorisnt! I'm so glad to see you on the forum! I've been wondering how you've been. I hope better...

As for the point of your post: I;ve been in therapy for about seven or eight years now, and a large part of it has been focused on that simple premise--that I'm entitled to take care of my needs first and foremost. Once you truly believe that, it's a lot easier to make nearly every decision. I do care about other people, some quite a bit, but at the end of the day, I care about myself more. If I don't, who will? To some, that may seem selfish, but for me, it's what's freed me to have enough energy at the end of most days to actually do things for others.

[Crankin]

You know, I've always, always subscribed to the way of thinking that Indy describes. If I wasn't doing OK, then how could my kids, my DH, or my students be OK? And I know that others along the way have thought that as being selfish. It's like the mothers (and fathers) who don't take time to go out alone, without the kids, because they "work all week," and it "wouldn't be fair." Fair to who? Sure, I had to get up at 5AM to do some of the stuff I did for myself, but my DH also was there to do all of the morning routine for the kids when I was busy taking care of myself at the gym.
One of the best things about the therapeutic relationship is when an adult realizes he or she doesn't have to please everyone else before pleasing his or herself.

[zoom-zoom]

You know, I've always, always subscribed to the way of thinking that Indy describes. If I wasn't doing OK, then how could my kids, my DH, or my students be OK?

A friend of mine once told me that she deals with her depression as if she were in an airplane when the oxygen masks drop--her priority is to put the mask on herself, first, and then put the masks on her kids. If she doesn't make sure that she's OK, then she hasn't the capacity to make sure that anyone else is having their needs met.

[alexis_the_tiny]

A friend of mine once told me that she deals with her depression as if she were in an airplane when the oxygen masks drop--her priority is to put the mask on herself, first, and then put the masks on her kids. If she doesn't make sure that she's OK, then she hasn't the capacity to make sure that anyone else is having their needs met.

I love that analogy. It makes complete and utter sense. If I don't get enough sleep or food, I can't be the best teacher to my students at school.

It feels so wonderful to allow myself to just slack off on rides and stuff. The other night I went for a ride with friends and dropped off the ride after the first loop and ended up kicking back with another friend listening to Thai pop music while waiting for the others.

Part of the whole change really came from getting rid of some people in my life who were constantly making me feel like I needed to prove my worth to them. It was hard because they were people I thought were supposed to be the ones who were the closest to me and it turns out, they didn't really care much and I wasted all that time trying to get them to approve of me. That and therapy. Good grief.

[ClockworkOrange]

Alexis, I have not read this thread since you started it back in October 2010 and my goodness, you seem to be in far better spirits than before.

I vaguely remember you mentioning unicorns, so I have sent you this

Recently I received a PM from Miranda and she said "Enjoy your victories of each day". I feel this is very apt for most of us, so much so, I now have this under my signature.

Anyway, lovely to hear you seeming more positive.

[alexis_the_tiny]

Hi Clock! Its good to hear from you again! The unicorn and quote came at a really great time, its a bad night for me tonight. Good days, bad days, but at least its slightly easier to roll with it all. Love the unicorn!! Thank you.