Why a women's forum?

[Pax]

I come here because women's spaces are a pretty rare thing. A place where we can talk to other people who will see and most likely understand our point of view. And if they don't they will ask thoughtful questions to draw out more information... rather than telling me I'm stupid because they don't get it.

The internet is chock full of places where men gather and enjoy their own unique form of communication, I spend a LOT of time out there... I come here to regain that sense of peace that comes from a more familiar view of the world.

[Velocivixen]

I'm fairly new to cycling on a regular basis, and none of my real life friends or acquaintances ride bikes. I don't know other women who ride. So you're my virtual "friends".

[NbyNW]

I hang out here because you all are awesome.

And I think the forum moderators also do a great job, setting a tone for great discussions, good humor, and combatting spam.

[macski]

I agree with the general consensus that the forum is literate, supportive and encouraging and that's the main reason I enjoy it. I like following people's journeys as they get hooked by this wonderful passion of ours. And I appreciate the honesty and friendship between posters here.

I also frequent a number of other cycling forums that are 'mixed' but in reality very male dominated. There is an Australian one that I also quite enjoy but all of them are more aggressive and the posters are very quick to criticize. There is little tolerance of beginner questions or views and people are very opinionated. I visit them much less often.

[Jen12]

Good topic!
I'm new to the forum and new to serious biking in general. While I just happened to find the forum without necessarily looking for a female-centered group, I'm quite pleased with the friendliness and lack of ego here. I've also noticed that cycling magazines are definitely male-centered. With the exception of a few ads, the last issue of Bicycling magazine featured only articles and photos centered on men. I think that says a lot about the need for a forum like this.

[Catrin]

I am here because all of you are awesome and so very supportive. When I started cycling 17 months ago I only knew one person who rode, and I really needed advice. It is great to be able to bring my little accomplishments, to (hopefully) say something that might help someone else, and just participate as I can. I am on a couple of other mixed forums, and they have their place, but they are nothing like TE!

[Miranda]

I love TE so much. If I had not found this web site I would not have survived some things to be a cyclists today.

Thinking back, I believe how I came across TE was through the SheBeest brand. A female staff at the lbs had told me about the brand. Of course the women's clothing at the shop was so limited I went searching the net. Then the TE web site came up.

I was so discouraged with my lbs experiences and lack of help. My too large bike caused me much pain and also in my womanhood. Trying to discuss this with the shop was a sad joke. After reading a bit on the forum I saw it really didn't what your issues were. People were here to help. So, I got brave enough to post for help.

The advice I have received here has been awesome. I don't ever make a cycling decision about something (gear, training, etc) without checking/searching this forum.

As far as BikeForums goes, I agree. When you post a question there normally it goes like this.... 1) first few responses "uh, use the search function dumb a**"... hmm, if no one ever discussed anything would you have material to search? If no discussions wouldn't your forum go stagnent and your advertisers leave etc.? dhrrrr, 2) one person half way answers of help, 3) next few posts people fight over the answer, and 4) wait... what were we chatting about... oh yea... lol. UGH!

As far as literacy goes... I still speak in text somewhat... only because I use it a lot for both work and personal matters... it's not all bad as long as you can still actually type a full sentance when you need to.

Thanks, TE.

[Mr. Bloom]

Since I am the primary source of controversy here, I'll weigh in a bit...again. I really appreciate that lph is posing this question in the positive sense of the discussion; that is, why are YOU here?

For me, the primary issue is safety...not in the physical sense though. Safety in that this is a well moderated forum where one isn't exposed to the nastiness that exists on others. While I've tried others, they lack the general sense of productive collaboration and commaraderie that you find here.

Second, I've made many friends here. As recently as yesterday, I rode with Indysteel and her husband. A couple weeks ago, I had a fun breakfast with Melavai and three generations of her family (including her father who proudly displayed his cycling jersey tan line). While I've riden with many of you, I consider many more of you to be "online friends". I frankly bristle at the characterization that my presence would be voyeuristic or unwholesome...there are many threads that I don't go to because I know I'll have nothing to offer

Third, the members of this group are generally well educated, intelligent, thought provoking, from many different backgrounds and with a broad diversity of perspectives to offer.

So, although I am male (and gender access has been a point of controversy ever since the supreme court ruled on the issue decades ago), and I have been attacked and called many names, I remain here because it is safe, generally friendly, and populated by intelligent members from multiple places and disciplines...in short, this is a good place.

[OakLeaf]

Well, back to what I said before. This is obviously a broad generalization. But anyone who wants to jump on it as a sexist statement, please read some neuroscience and then offer your opinion.

Women - generally - understand that other people (including, but not limited to, people who participate in an online forum) are actual people, just like them. Men - by and large - don't; at least not in the same way that women do.

In a geopolitical as well as a domestic setting, that means physical violence and often death. In the context of an online forum, it means respect and patience, or the lack thereof.



A couple of starting points:
http://www.amazon.com/Female-Brain-L.../dp/0767920090
http://www.amazon.com/Woman-Intimate.../dp/0385498411

and a classic:
http://www.amazon.com/Different-Voic.../dp/0674445449



ETA - I shouldn't even have to say this, but to avoid anything ad feminam, most of you know I'm straight, I'm married to a man, most of the people I ride with are men. I don't dislike men generally, nor do I like all women. That's not the same thing as saying that there's no difference between women and men.

[Crankin]

I generally agree with Oakleaf's point re: gender differences and my "real life" status is pretty much the same as hers. Actually, in real life I have noticed I tend to gravitate to socializing with the males when I am in large groups, social or work. I have never been a girly girl and several times I've told that I "think like a man," or that I have a "strange attitude" for a woman. And that's why I think I have gravitated to TE, and other woman cyclists in general; the women here are pragmatic and accepting and very smart. You guys accept me, even if I like wearing makeup and cooking and you know that those things are not incompatible with getting dirty or riding 100 miles.
I don't participate in any other forums. Heck, I spend too much time here on TE to do so! I did do Bike Journal for a few years and that started feeling too competitive, so I quit. Actually my DH found TE first, when he was looking to order me a pair of rain pants and then he started getting emails from TE. I joined the forums about 4 months after that. I still remember it was the dead of winter, but sunny and warmer (February), and I had gone out on my mountain bike for my first short ride of the season.
I have wondered about what might happen if I met someone in real life and they "knew" all about me from TE. I don't write stuff that is too personal, except maybe about my adult kids. It's mostly about cycling and work, and other interests. I've met and ridden with many TE members and all of them were nice people... no weirdos. Everyone is so interesting, in terms of their cycling and their lives outside of cycling. I've met and ridden with racers, tourers, new riders, bike instructors, mechanics. Where else would I have met these people?
I get uncomfortable restricting men from participating. My DH might be someone who would feel comfortable here, but he sees it as my thing; he doesn't really do any online social stuff, except once in awhile the Miyata owner forum. He is always amazed at the wealth of information I get from TE and has also met several of the TE members from around Boston. I think if someone is obviously inappropriate, it's a different story. I see plenty of trolls here, because I get up early in the AM and see those posts before they have been removed. For all I know, they could be women trolls.

[shootingstar]

I I think if someone is obviously inappropriate, it's a different story. I see plenty of trolls here, because I get up early in the AM and see those posts before they have been removed. For all I know, they could be women trolls.

Lots of monotonous work for Jeff/Susan to look after -- I didn't know about the amount of trolls. And it certainly isn't going after a women's forum /because we're women, since I look after 2 of his blogs and have to clean up spam that trolls try to comment into this blogs --nearly daily. I think there are sufficient women trolls but maybe less than men.

I simply find it easier to chat up with women here compared to other forums. In face to face interactions, I don't spend hardly any time talking about make-up, fashion and men with, other women I know well.

So to me here, it mirrors the sort of topics and depth I would talk about with any face to face cycling woman friend. Except for some deeply personal stuff.

I would be interested in knowing the women who have dropped by and then drop out, what were their reasons for dropping out of TE? That might give a clue that would confirm about this forum's general spirit and dynamic. However I think the act of writing often, helps clarify matters for a person. So women who think just abit before they write IF they like to write often, are drawn to forums.


Men are different in a sense, that many don't talk about/mention their children much at all with other people outside their immediate family. I've noticed this at work --just less talk about their families. Even for guys who are attentive parents. Things have changed in the past few decades, but still I observe this even on the Internet.

My partner subscribes and participates occasionally in several Internet listservs and maybe 1-2 forums, but I suspect he sticks to cycling since he has cycling related business and has to keep himself non-personal.

The most personal side of him on the Internet....is the blogs that I manage for his business. I probably paved the way by introducing more personal details in my blog postings, which he then, realized he better loosen up abit in his blog postings or no one /hardly anyone will read our stuff. Who wants to read pure technical stuff all the time? We're not mechanics nor academics on cycling.

[itself]

I like the fact that a woman can come here and discuss issues that affect woman. Things as simple as a saddle to more complicated issues of going through menopause. Women still are a minority in 2011. It's pretty sad, but I still do not think we are treated equally salary-wise in the workplace.

That being said, because I ride recumbents, BROL has been a huge support for me. Recumbents are more complicated due to different bottom bracket heights on each bike, different seats and seat heights, and making modifications are not quite that simple. Thus, the guys there have been tremendously supportive to me.

This is an amazing forum, and a wonderful resource for women...

[owlice]

Mr. Bloom, for the record, I don't see you as the primary, or even as a, source of controversy. The question this thread poses is relevant whether you post here or not (and this does not suggest that you are irrelevant!). I like having some males voices here, actually.

I like TE because of the level of discussion, and yes, the writing abilities! I know I can ask any question, don't have to apologize for including something like "panty liner" (bad idea on a bike ride, I discovered, back when I first got back in to riding) in a post, and get replies in complete sentences that are supportive and sometimes extremely amusing, too. If I need an answer broken down into plainer language, those who answer educate me without assuming I'm an idiot.

I know I can write about the stupid things I do (a great education, doing stupid things, as picking up my growling cat last Sunday exemplified) and have those here laugh with, not at, me as I laugh at myself (which is why I share the stupid things).

The board is very well moderated, which I appreciate, too. I moderate elsewhere and know some of the frustrations and challenges that go with moderation. I like how clean this board is because of its moderation. That contentious topics such as religion and politics are discouraged here helps, too; I get enough of them on Facebook!

[Biciclista]

Oakleaf,
I don't think anyone is arguing with you.
I too work in a male dominated work environment, have a husband and two sons (no daughters) so honestly for me, it's nice to go "somewhere" where for once there is not a paternalistic tone about where to go for help, advice, reassurance. This is not your daddy's forum.. This is where you go to get wisdom from women.
Need advice ? ask a woman here. How cool is that?

[jessmarimba]

Had a reply...never mind...not something to bring up in this thread.