My husband ugh!!!

[limewave]

My DH got all in a snort about FB too. I'm on the computer all day, work from home, taking care of children all evening . . . FB really is my social network. Somewhat pathetic, I know.

Anyways, he didn't like how I knew what was going on with his friends or how they knew what I was up to. I ended up blocking and unfriending all of his friends.

And I don't write anything about DH on FB.

That solved our FB issues.

[Biciclista]

my husband is on facebook constantly. Every ride he does is recorded with a dozen photos including of what he eats... I guess we're all different.

[Brandi]

I blocked a bunch of people as well. I think there is something else wrong here and I am just a target. Hard when you spend 24/7 together. He needs to get out and ride. But alas the rain is preventing that.
You know some people you can't argue with at all. I even offered to let him look at what I post. And it has nothing to do with anything really.

[CycleTherapy]

ummm, I don't mean to sound in any way offense, really I don't. Sometimes we can be near-sighted in our vision because maybe we need a tweak of our lenses or perception. Have you considered your post, as related to the very issue you are experiencing and asking advice for ? Could your post here be the same type of thing that makes your husband anxious and even fearful, which then comes out as anger ? Maybe the action of posting your issue here, is the kind of behavior that has your husband agitated ? Maybe it scares him that (in his belief) you might use FB as the alternative to communicating and satisfying a need for relationship... a relationship that he really wants you to find in HIM and through the commitment of your partnership.

Please read my thoughts merely as "food" for consideration; in no way were they meant as judgement.

[Irulan]

ummm, I don't mean to sound in any way offense, really I don't. Sometimes we can be near-sighted in our vision because maybe we need a tweak of our lenses or perception. Have you considered your post, as related to the very issue you are experiencing and asking advice for ? Could your post here be the same type of thing that makes your husband anxious and even fearful, which then comes out as anger ? Maybe the action of posting your issue here, is the kind of behavior that has your husband agitated ? Maybe it scares him that (in his belief) you might use FB as the alternative to communicating and satisfying a need for relationship... that he really wants you to find in HIM and through the commitment of your partnership.

Please read my thoughts merely as "food" for consideration; in no way were they meant as judgement.

That was kind of what I was thinking - this sounds like a bigger problem than can be solved thorough an internet post. You are posting personal problems in a public forum... maybe no wonder he's uncomfortable with your facebook use! There could be trust issues here, intimacy and I don't mean sex issues, certainly something better addressed through marriage counseling than a public board. Just my two cents.

[goldfinch]

That was kind of what I was thinking - this sounds like a bigger problem than can be solved thorough an internet post. You are posting personal problems in a public forum... maybe no wonder he's uncomfortable with your facebook use! There could be trust issues here, intimacy and I don't mean sex issues, certainly something better addressed through marriage counseling than a public board. Just my two cents.

There is a difference between forums such as this and facebook. On forums most people do not use their real names and it is difficult to know who they are, if not impossible. So, online forums can be a good place to air personal issues. In contrast, most people are themselves on Facebook, with many if not most friends also "real life" friends. I often share issues on online forums I would never share on Facebook because no one has a clue who I am. I keep details like where I live and what I do private so people do not figure out who I am. On facebook I have to be very circumspect.

I personally wouldn't read a lot into the OP husband's concern. He might have heard about how Facebook has little privacy and just be worried about that.

[Irulan]

Wow . Different point of view I guess. I am of the mind that that I never share personal problems on line with people I don't know. For any number of reasons, I won't bore you with the list. Just a different attitude I guess.

[silver]

Very interesting discussion. My ex-husband did not approve of my FB and forum use. However, it turns out that there many other problems that were much too big to "fix". IMO, that's why he posts here, it was a way of monitoring my involvement and he realized how enjoyable a woman's forum could be. But the end result for me, is I feel like he "got Team Estrogen" in the divorce. :-(

[Kerry1976]

Very interesting discussion. My ex-husband did not approve of my FB and forum use. However, it turns out that there many other problems that were much too big to "fix". IMO, that's why he posts here, it was a way of monitoring my involvement and he realized how enjoyable a woman's forum could be. But the end result for me, is I feel like he "got Team Estrogen" in the divorce. :-(

Bummer!

My ex-husband once asked me if I was on FB. I said yes. He said he was too. He asked if I liked it as he was really new to it and didn't quite get the appeal and/or reasons for using. I told him I used it frequently as I had people on there I had lost touch with or were far away and that I also talk to my running forum friends on there. I think he asked some other technical questions, but neither of us mentioned friending the other and neither of us ever has friended the other. I have no plans to friend him and if he ever tries to friend me I will probably ignore it.

[OakLeaf]

Silver, I did get that idea from this end, and I think it's really unfortunate. We miss you.

I don't get some of the hostility in this thread. Lots of us share lots of personal information on TE, from the shape and size of our labia (hopefully only in the saddle and saddle-related threads ), to issues with care giving and child rearing. Brandi is more than welcome to vent here, as far as I'm concerned.

[salsabike]

Very interesting discussion. My ex-husband did not approve of my FB and forum use. However, it turns out that there many other problems that were much too big to "fix". IMO, that's why he posts here, it was a way of monitoring my involvement and he realized how enjoyable a woman's forum could be. But the end result for me, is I feel like he "got Team Estrogen" in the divorce. :-(

No way---come on back!!

[snapdragen]

No way---come on back!!

Ditto what salsa says!

[Brandi]

Very interesting discussion. My ex-husband did not approve of my FB and forum use. However, it turns out that there many other problems that were much too big to "fix". IMO, that's why he posts here, it was a way of monitoring my involvement and he realized how enjoyable a woman's forum could be. But the end result for me, is I feel like he "got Team Estrogen" in the divorce. :-(

You need to come back!

[Jo-n-NY]

Silver, another here welcoming you back with open arms. I always looked forward to reading your posts and think of you when I wear the Share the Road jersey I bought from you.

~ JoAnn