was this an ethical oops?

[PamNY]

(It's also possible to be a whiny killjoy. I have absolutely no issues with asking what's in something -- but when it includes the litany of symptoms and aggravations followed by all the things you really wish you could have and are miserable without and the other aches and pains that are bothering you today, I have to tune out...)

Oh that's true. Both things can happen. My point was simply, as I said, that it's possible to be discreet and polite. I have two friends with food allergies. One handles her situation so gracefully that I've heard people compliment her; the other, well, a different story altogether.

And ironically, the one who is a PITA is completely inconsiderate of other peoples' special needs, and this includes people who have knocked themselves out catering to her endless needs.

I was honestly surprised by what NY Biker said she has encountered. We deal with this issue a lot and have for years, and I've never heard anything along those lines.

[TrekTheKaty]

I was honestly surprised by what NY Biker said she has encountered. We deal with this issue a lot and have for years, and I've never heard anything along those lines.

I agree with NY Biker. Many assume my avoidance of wheat is by choice and try to talk me out of it. I choose NOT to discuss the digestive side effects with perfect strangers. And I'll clarify my earlier comment--I usually don't bother to ask, even in a restaurant. I get two responses: "I'm sure it's fine" or they pretty much refuse to serve me anything. Many strict celiacs don't EVER eat outside their own home. They've obviously had a serious reaction and don't want to risk it ever again.

Kids are different. It is a huge emotional issue for a child to be excluded from the group. However, some well adjusted families use the opportunity to teach the children how to handle these situations on their own--because they'll have to when they get older. There are many gluten-free baked goods that my husband enjoys with me. However, some fruit never hurt anyone!