Dear So and So

[Trek420]

My new neighbor likes to spend all day out on her deck yakking aimlessly on her cell phone. She goes on hour after hour. She's not hollering, but her voice is one of those that strongly carries over distances. She's about 40 yards from me, but I can hear every word as though she were standing next to me. I swear she has no idea how her voice carries. I cough, I sigh, I bang shovels and make noise so she knows I'm right there gardening or trying to relax in my yard. She's clueless. I'm a captive prisoner to her boring endless yakfests.
Once my DH started saying "BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!" really loudly, but she still didn't 'get it'. lol! We'll see how the situation progresses this summer.

I would just start asking her ... "And is Priscilla feeling better yet? Hydrocepalus is a serious illness and it is going around. Your uncle Bob stilll has it too? We're all so worried about them. Did Priscilla like the bread pudding with candied ginger and prunes? She's always liked that. We sent some, thought that would make her feel better at least...." or ....

Whenever she's outside start running towards her house in your beekeeper outfit, the hat, mask, the smoke thingie yelling "the bees, the bees, get inside, go inside the bees are coming!" Once she's inside calmly walk away.