Depression

[Crankin]

Alexis, how are you doing?

[alexis_the_tiny]

Hey guys, thanks for the help. Crankin, I'll go look up the books, I read kind of obsessively so it'll be good to read something helpful for once. I've been...busy. Its the end of semester at school and there's so much work to do preparing to meet parents and everything.

I might need to look for another therapist since I can't seem to make myself go back to the current therapist's office. In fact, I can't make myself go anywhere that I used to frequent during the last year. Daily functioning is ok, I'm doing better with my job and all. But outside of work, I seem to want to block out everything that has happened with him to the extent that I avoid old training routes, hangouts, friends, the therapist's office, Facebook, you name it. My weekly routine which I'm usually insistent on never deviating from has also changed dramatically. Its not about the person, because I don't feel anything where he's concerned, I just, can't seem to do anything that'd remind me I spent the last year in a relationship. So, needless to say, hunt for a new therapist shall resume...

[WindingRoad]

alexis it sounds like you are more upset about what feels like 'wasted time' on him. It's okay and its not your fault. Things usually happen for a reason and this is one of those things. I'm happy you are figuring it out quicker than I did, it took me 11 years with the same jerk. Keep your head up high.

[Irulan]

Well depression is nothing.It is the creation of our mind.Depression can easily makes us ill and can destroy our life.Depression makes our brain weak..So we should try to be happy and avoid thinking too much about a problem.

Easy for you to say, have you ever been in a depression so deep that none of the above worked and it required medical treatment to improve? Trust me, if I could have fixed it through improved thinking I would have.

[zoom-zoom]

Well depression is nothing.It is the creation of our mind.Depression can easily makes us ill and can destroy our life.Depression makes our brain weak..So we should try to be happy and avoid thinking too much about a problem.

I smell a troll...

Depression is no more "nothing" than are Type 1 Diabetes, cancer, asthma, or any other disease/disorder requiring medication to combat/correct. Would you tell a diabetic to just stop thinking about their blood sugar...that their insulin levels will correct themselves?

[alexis_the_tiny]

Yesterday, I cut myself some slack. After a whole lifetime of pushing myself to do things I can't do or don't want to do simply for validation, I said "I'm too tired to race a 12 hour solo" and it was...ok. It was fine. For the first time in 24 years, I could put aside the thought that if I didn't race it, I would be worth nothing. I felt guilty about not training and just pushed it aside and enjoyed long, slack rides and runs. That feeling, its like coming up through the water and taking one deep breath.

And the irony? I'm actually a helluva stronger now after weeks and weeks of patchy training than when I was following a weekly schedule insanely. Go figure.

[shootingstar]

Yesterday, I cut myself some slack. After a whole lifetime of pushing myself to do things I can't do or don't want to do simply for validation, I said "I'm too tired to race a 12 hour solo" and it was...ok. It was fine. For the first time in 24 years, I could put aside the thought that if I didn't race it, I would be worth nothing. I felt guilty about not training and just pushed it aside and enjoyed long, slack rides and runs. That feeling, its like coming up through the water and taking one deep breath.

And the irony? I'm actually a helluva stronger now after weeks and weeks of patchy training than when I was following a weekly schedule insanely. Go figure.

Hey, then you can get back onto the bike next time in a more relaxed frame of mind. Bike needs to be part of your therapy since you love it (like alot of other folks here), but not something to feel guilty about in terms of competency.

[lph]

Pardon me if I sound pompous, but yup, it takes strength to know when to be weak*, and accept it. Good for you.

*as if not riding a 12 hr solo has anything to do with being weak