Dear Rain--
GO AWAY. I want to get some riding in, but can't between you showing up or threatening to show up.

Dear "adjustable" stem--
Stop sticking, or I'll take you in to the bike shop, and let them do what they want with you...

Dear BF--
In the name of all that is cute and fuzzy, how on earth did you manage to get yourself into the same situation you were in in 2009/10 again? (Well, I can guess, but...) In all seriousness, quit while you're not too far behind. Transfer to ASU before undergraduate studies kicks you out. Really, you should have done this last year. It would have been cheaper, and you'd have been done next year, as opposed to two years from now. I'm flattered that I was one of the main reasons you came back to Ohio, but you're staking your future on this relationship. I am not a valid reason for you to screw up your education and take on an ungodly amount of student loan debt.
Go to ASU, pay two years' worth of in-state tuition, and graduate. I don't really care when that will be, just do it. If you need to (because I have a feeling you need to get your head screwed back on straight), take a few years off and go work in a bike shop or something.
Love, me.