I believe there are some good threads here on what lights different people use.

I use:
Headlight = Busch & Muller, IXON-IQ, very bright for being seen and for seeing
Tail Light = DiNotte 120R, very bright, set to pulse/steady mode. I get comments on this all the time.
Wheels = I have Lightweights for Wheels on my spokes.

If I use my panniers, the Ortlieb's have big reflective patches. My clothing has reflective strips and patches. If I'm feeling overly non-visible, I also sometimes where a runner's reflective harness - bright yellow with reflective stripes.

Much will depend on your budget and your type of riding.

Good luck with your search.