As a medical professional, I am begging you not to wear helmets.

It costs millions of dollars to rehab survivors of bike/car (or bike/gravity) accidents.

Death is cheaper.

Please don't wear helmets. Brain death has legal status. Once you are brain dead, but your body continues to pump along in vain, your organs are ripe for the plucking. We are in dire need of juicy ripe organs for transplants.

You are more valuable to me dead than alive.

So don't wear those helmets, and be sure to buy your health insurance from private companies that have strong "death panels."

Your nice healthy cyclist liver can save the life of an unrepentant drug abuser! Your powerful heart can save the life of an obese welfare beneficiary! Your clear lenses can return sight to a smoker!

C'mon, kids, do your part to keep the medical system running! Die at the most opportune moment for the most people!

(for those of you who do not live in the U.S. - this is bitter sarcasm based on an insider's view of the morally bankrupt but profitable U.S. medical system)