Yikes!
Funny funny stuff- i love your writing.

But PLEASE get some eye protecting glasses or goggles- REALLY!
I've had trucks shoot pebbles into my eyes while riding too- but they just bounced harmlessly off my goggle-like sunglasses. Bumblebees can hit your face at 30mph and feel like helicopters crashing. Do you want that hitting your eye?

As for mouth open- doesn't seem to matter how often I tell myself to shut my yap while biking- 2 seconds later it's open again!