OT: Slob

[Trek420]

Thank you Abu (can we call you abu for short?). I wasn't quite sure what to say but find a good workout clears my head. So after I got back from the dojo I've always found I'd rather use wit, humor and hopefully some logic to make a point, I'm rarely angry, or not for long.

And so because I love the way we use humor here and just in time for Valentines day the top 15 Biblical Ways to get a Wife:

1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head,
trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours.
- (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)

2. Find a prostitute and marry her.
- Hosea (Hosea 1:1-3)

3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock.
- Moses (Exodus 2:16-21)

4. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal.
- Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)

5. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one
and carry her off to be your wife.
- Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)

6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost
you a rib.
- Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)

7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage.
Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven
years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right.
Fourteen years of toil for a woman.
- Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)

8. Cut off 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get
his daughter for a wife.
- David (I Samuel 18:27)

9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely
find someone. (It's all relative of course.)
- Cain (Genesis 4:16-17)

10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest.
- Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)

11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents,
I have seen a ...woman; now get her for me. If your parents question
your decision, simply say, Get her for me. She's the one for me.
- Samson (Judges 14:1-3)

12. Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose your son though).
- David (2 Samuel 11)

13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea,
it's the law).
- Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)

14. Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity.
- Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)

15. A wife?...NOT!!!
- Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)