Places we consider home & newcomers

[shootingstar]

Interesting channelluv, how you felt on the plane.

I can't even believe I once considered living in the Arctic because I've been interviewed twice for jobs up there. Like some folks here, I personally know some people face to face who have worked for several years in the Canadian Arctic. Different world..that we don't hear enough about.

[indysteel]

Interesting topic, and one I've tried not to think about in a long time. I've lived in Indiana all my life, but outside of the eight years I spent in Bloomington for undergrad and law school, I have never felt at home here. I don't feel much affinity for Indianapolis. While the city has improved in some ways during my lifetime, it's still grossly lacking in some fundamental ways.
It's a city without much soul in my opinion.

Now I live in a small town south of the city. I was born here and moved away when I was two. I don't have any friends here, and I've quite divined how to get them. The town makes Indy look positively liberal, it's so conservative. I honestly don't want to live here, but there's no other workable compromise given our respetive jobs.

I didn't want to move back here after law school, but I took the job that was offered to me, and that was that. I'm not a big risk taker, so the thought of just moving some place new was too much for me at the time. Several jobs, two homes and a husband later, here I still am.

In four years' time, I may be forced to change jobs when my boss retires. That may be the kick in the pants we need to make a change.

My husband and I talk of moving, but he's no more of a risk taker than me, so we can't seem to get past our own inertia. I envy those of you who have found the guts just to pack up.

[westtexas]

I spent the first 11 years of my life in California, and the last 14 here in Texas. Now I'm about to move 500 miles west (currently in central Texas) to start a life on my own, with my first "adult" job with a salary and my own health insurance and no more tuition payments twice a year. As excited as I am... I have lived in this town for 7 years and it's my home. Where I went to high school (where my parents still live) is about 90 miles from here and it's not really "home" to me. Here is where I made my transition to pseudo-adult life on my own. And it's really scary to move farther away from my folks and really "start" life and all the adult responsibilities that entails.

And where I am going... who knows if that will end up being home for me or if in a few years I will do something else?

[GLC1968]

My husband and I talk of moving, but he's no more of a risk taker than me, so we can't seem to get past our own inertia. I envy those of you who have found the guts just to pack up.

See, this I think highlights the key factor here. Personality plays such a huge role! I don't think pulling up roots and moving is any big deal. In fact, in many ways to me it feels like a fresh start - and cheating. Leave your mistakes behind and start anew! No need to worry about those friends whom you've grown apart from...no need to worry about a roof that needed replacing. You never get bored, things never get old and change comes in big sweeping occurrances that you control - not slowly over time as you sit there and watch it.

Honestly, I think moving is easier. Staying put takes way more guts from my perspective!

[indysteel]

See, this I think highlights the key factor here. Personality plays such a huge role! I don't think pulling up roots and moving is any big deal. In fact, in many ways to me it feels like a fresh start - and cheating. Leave your mistakes behind and start anew! No need to worry about those friends whom you've grown apart from...no need to worry about a roof that needed replacing. You never get bored, things never get old and change comes in big sweeping occurrances that you control - not slowly over time as you sit there and watch it.

Honestly, I think moving is easier. Staying put takes way more guts from my perspective!

That's an interesting point...and come to think of it, I sometimes which I could walk away from a few things and people myself, but the risk aversion side of me usually wins out.

I biggest hurdle has been my job. I had a stint in private practice at a large firm earlier in my career that just went miserably. I was acutely depressed during that perior. From there, I began working for the federal goverment, where I've stayed ever since. I haven't earned what I could have in private practice, but I also haven't starved either. I like my job. I like my boss. The thought of giving up that safety net for an unknown job in an unknown locale terrifies me.

While I do have greater faith in my coping skills and legal abilities, I don't relish the thought of going back into private practice, and the position I have with the feds doesn't come open all that often. Now, I may have no choice in a few years time when my boss retires, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. If I DO get to keep my job, it's entirely likely that I'll stay here until I'm able to retire. That would be the first opportunity to move without sending myself into a nervous breakdown.

If I could find a job in Bloomington or Columbus, Indiana (where DH works as an engineer), I would likely be happier. Bloomington is home to me, and Columbus is a nice city for it's size. Cummins Engine is headquartered there, and the company adds a lot to the city.

[roadie gal]

I'm another one of those 12 different schools, in 5 different states by the end of high school folks. We weren't military, just nomads. Then, for the next 10 years I moved for school, my residency, and jobs.

I've lived in my little house in the mountains for 15 years now, and had the same job for 15 years. I LOVE IT!! The thought of roaming around the country again makes me ill. I know this is "home" because of the sense of peace I get when I think about this place. My family all lives in the NY/NJ area, but this is home for me, not there.

[SheFly]

See, this I think highlights the key factor here. Personality plays such a huge role! I don't think pulling up roots and moving is any big deal. In fact, in many ways to me it feels like a fresh start - and cheating. Leave your mistakes behind and start anew! No need to worry about those friends whom you've grown apart from...no need to worry about a roof that needed replacing. You never get bored, things never get old and change comes in big sweeping occurrances that you control - not slowly over time as you sit there and watch it.

Honestly, I think moving is easier. Staying put takes way more guts from my perspective!

Fifteen years ago (ok 16, but who's counting) I was right there with you. I literally picked up stakes and left everything I knew behind - family, friends, geography, "home" (and my ex-husband which may have been a precipitating factor). I moved from Canada to the US, to a city where I literally knew NO ONE. It was scary. It was refreshing. It was liberating. Did I mention it was scary? Oh - and lonely.

Now, if you asked me to move out of the house I have lived in for 15 of those 16 years, I would laugh you right down the street. Too terrified to try it over again (not to mention that DH wouldn't go anywhere).

I think Jolt hit the nail on the head - having moved SO MUCH early on in my life, the thought of doing it now is foreign to me, and I am much more averse even to the suggestion. I did have an itch about 3-5 years after living in our house, but not anymore.

GLC - I know we're around the same age, but I think I was much more open to pulling up when I was younger than I am now. Instead, I'll live vicariously through you .

SheFly

[spokewench]

Interesting question about home?! I was born in Missouri (I think of it as Kansas, however, since it was a hospital in Missouri in Kansas City, the state line runs down the middle of town). All of my mother's family and some of my father's are from Kansas. I lived mostly growing up on Ohio. Then I had my wanderlust years when I lived in Idaho, Montana, Florida, Kentucky, Illinois, Florida.

I spent a little less than half of my adult life in California and a little more than half of my adult life in Arizona (mountains). My parents now live in southern Arizona as does my sister.

I'm really not sure where I find my home at. It is now in Arizona, but that could change some day. It could be southern Arizona vs. northern or somewhere completely different; I'm not sure.

My husband and I were having a conversation the other day about where we would want to be buried or scatter ashes. I literally could not come up with a good place. I don't feel like northern AZ is the place since I have no relatives here; southern Arizona is probably where my sister and parents will be interred, but other than them being there, I really don't have any connections to the place.

My husband's step father (who was German born) decided to be buried in a tiny-tiny Missouri cemetery near where his wife was born. She will be buried there as well. Hubby has said that he might want to be buried there since that is where most of his family was situated at one time or another. And, it is a very quiet, peaceful, tiny, tiny cemetery up on a hill, couple of trees and out in the middle of the green nowhere.

I've thought perhaps about being near my grandparents out in the middle of Kansas nowhere, but perhaps we'll end of in Missouri (somewhere I have never ever lived). Kind of strange.

Anyone else ever thought about where you want to rest?

[SheFly]

Anyone else ever thought about where you want to rest?

Yes. There is a cemetary in our town that we ride through on any of our MTB rides. For that reason, it has special significance to both of us, so we want to "rest" there. Guess it's ironic, since this town is now home. No relatives other than DH here though.

SheFly

[Crankin]

One the above topic, see my earlier thread...

http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showt...=Weirdest+Ride