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  1. #31
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    where the wind comes sweeping down the plain
    Posts
    5,251

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    I can't add anything else to what's been said, except to say that you're in my thoughts. May you find peace in whatever decision you make (it's tough no matter what). ((((((hugs))))))
    Check out my running blog: www.turtlepacing.blogspot.com

    Cervelo P2C (tri bike)
    Bianchi Eros (commuter/touring road bike)

    1983 Motobecane mixte (commuter/errand bike)
    Cannondale F5 mountain bike

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    3,176
    Take care.
    Wishing you all the best.
    Each day is a gift, that's why it is called the present.

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    1,333
    egads, I'm sorry to hear that the biopsy wasn't good news! Sending you good thoughts and vibes for a speedy recovery from surgery.

    As for the sisters, like others have said, imagine if it was one of your sisters? wouldn't you want to know so you can support her?

    Hugs

  4. #34
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    1,316
    {{{Marni}}}

    I don't have a whole lot to add here, either, except for my love and support in whatever you choose to do.

    You know your family dynamics better than any of us could hope to, but I'm with those who suggested telling your sisters before the bike ride -- maybe not today because you're still processing your own feelings and making plans of what to do next -- but I wouldn't put it off too long. If you have a pact, I'd honor that, but on your own terms. Tell them when you're ready.

    If you tell them sooner, though, I agree that they'd have time to process their own feelings before the bike ride. I think you're incredibly brave for going through with the bike ride at all.

    Vent away. Dither dither dither. As someone else said, you have a lot of friendly shoulders here to lean on.

    Much, much love, Marni.

    Roxy
    Getting in touch with my inner try-athlete.

  5. #35
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Traveling Nomad
    Posts
    6,763
    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Marni }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    Just so sorry you're having to go through this. Whatever decisions you make will be right for you.
    Emily

    2011 Jamis Dakar XC "Toto" - Selle Italia Ldy Gel Flow
    2007 Trek Pilot 5.0 WSD "Gloria" - Selle Italia Diva Gel Flow
    2004 Bike Friday Petite Pocket Crusoe - Selle Italia Diva Gel Flow

  6. #36
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Mississauga -a "burb" outside Toronto
    Posts
    648
    There is so much perspective on TE! So thoughtful.

    If your doctor said there is no hurry- I might be inclined to wait to tell everyone. Just till after your ride. Somehow, in everyone's efforts to help you, dealing with others emotions may become overwhelming for you. Dealing with the queries and suggestions from family- one realizes that it is all well intentioned that it comes from a place of love and caring. But it can be a burden on top of dealing with the personal decisions that you will need to make.

    Is there a chance of the kids slipping up? That might make things awkward.

    As many others have said - I am sure that you will make the decision that is right for you and your family.

    ((((Marni))))


    "You can't get what you want till you know what you want." Joe Jackson

    2006 Cannondale Feminine/Ultegra/Jett

    2012 Trek Speed Concept 9.5/Ultegra/saddle TBD

  7. #37
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Western Canada-prairies, mountain & ocean
    Posts
    6,984
    Tell your sisters before the ride, they will want to be there with you for the ride also.

    It's a journey they want to go along with you. The ride will be more enjoyable and more memorable that way for you and your sisters. Allow them to give the gift of their support and love for you --now.


    ****I say this as someone who lost my sister because she chose not to tell us and she made her own journey so lonely to a tragic end.
    Last edited by shootingstar; 04-06-2011 at 10:23 PM.
    My Personal blog on cycling & other favourite passions.
    遙知馬力日久見人心 Over a long distance, you learn about the strength of your horse; over a long period of time, you get to know what’s in a person’s heart.

  8. #38
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    101
    You will be fine.
    Seek out support, either via disclosure among your sister or joining a group. Having the support of a group made my diagnosis and subsequent mastectomy bearable. I felt like I had a lot of good information as a result as well. It felt good to have so many people on my side. I was in shock and not thinking clearly at the beginning. So much information to digest.

    I just went through this last year. Please PM if I can help. I am super fine now.
    Giant TCR C3 :: Specialized Jett 143
    Specialized FSR :: Terry Butterfly
    Vintage Giant Road Bike :: Specialized Lithia


 

 

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