I am a little late to the party here, but wanted to add a few of my observances about trying to find comfort for the "girly bits," on the bike. For reference, my rides are normally 40-60 miles. I have done 1 century.

I did try several saddles and am now on a Brooks, which is my favorite so far. Parenthetically, when I had a professional bike fit, one of the fitters did a freak out when he saw my Brooks and tried to talk me out of it. Uh uh! Whereas my saddle doesn't disappear, it is far from the hell of the other saddles I tried.

One of the saddles I tried did have a cut out and was gel and the gel was too soft and caused me to sink into the cut out - which caused a lot of swelling.

As for shorts, I am considering trying to ride with no chamois (which I mentioned to the fitter as well, and he did another freak out!) although I do like the padding for my sit bones. Just not my labia. I am trying to find capris with a minimalist chamois. Although, I am a bit resistant to buying more shorts. I have three pair already, two of which I don't really use!!

Here is the thing I am experiencing, which I don't think was mentioned here. I am a newbie. I just started road biking last year. I notice that as I am getting stronger on the bike, I use the muscles in my legs and butt differently and I push harder, which keeps my labia lifted off of the saddle more. I also think when I concentrate on my core, this also helps. If I am really pedaling from my butt, keeping my core strong, and focusing on form, I am really comfortable on the saddle. I am also faster