when you dump a friend

[lph]

Good for you, badger! *applause*

I know just what you mean, I'm afraid.

[Biciclista]

sounds like my mother. Lucky you, she's your ex friend.

[malkin]

Life is short.

Happy Birthday!!!

[Crankin]

Exactly. You did the right thing. I have a 20 year friend I would like to dump, too, but I just can't, as she's friends with one of my really good friends, too. So, we commiserate. She has all kinds of issues and I suspect Bipolar, or even a personality disorder. And I thought this before I went back to school. I have limited it to seeing her maybe once a month and a phone call every 2 weeks.
Too bad one of those calls was about an hour ago. She castigates me because I "don't care about my family" and she does. No, she still thinks she has to do things the way her parents did. What 57 year old calls her parents "mommy and daddy?" Her DH travels 4 days a week to get away from her and her son (college aged) can't stand being around her. All she has is her dog.
Oy. And she thinks there's something wrong with me?

[redrhodie]

(((badger))) I know this is harder than it sounds. I've felt more guilt over ending friendships than relationships. I hope you feel better without her in your life!

[Biciclista]

boy castigate IS the operative word

[badger]

Oy. And she thinks there's something wrong with me?

ha ha, and my ex friend thinks there's something wrong with me, too! she's faultless, of course. It's funny, the more I tried to not step on her toes, the more I ended up stomping on them!

Biciclista - she actually reminds me of my mother, too. We often get into relationships that remind us of our parents to work out the issues - I guess a small part of me hung onto this friendship to try and work out the issues I had with my mother, but I think this one just ran too deep.

Besides, after my mother went through menopause she's a different woman!

I really do feel better for not having her (ex-friend) in my life. I got nothing but negativity and strife from her.

[Crankin]

Well, my mother was not at all like this person.
She was like me .

[indysteel]

Badger, I'm sorry you lost a friend, but it sounds like you did the right thing. I've broken up with a few friends myself, usually because the degree of crazy just got to be too much for me and/or they didn't reciprocate my friendship in some fundamental way.

I do sometimes feel some degree of regret or guilt over the break up, but I just remind myself that that what I miss is the idea of their friendship. Once I factor in the crazy or hurt, I remember why I walked away in the first place. It is sad to lose a friend, though, even when it's the "right" thing to do. Hang I there. I always spend extra time lovin' on my pets when I feel down about a friend. They remind me how nice it is to be loved and to love in such a uncomplicated manner.