Wow, thanks everyone. This thread really took off

Ok first off, we are in no shape or form on the verge of breaking up over this crap. I was venting, though I did ask for advice on how to help a guy figure out how to not be such a slob.

bcipam, I appreciate your advice but it's not really applicable. And well, I'd never buy or read a Dr. Laura book. My mother would listen to her on the radio and I'd just sit and listen to her and scratch my head. I classify her a few levels below Dr. Phil, who's an embarassment to most of the people in the field of Psychology.

So after my big meltdown, which I agree that was brought on by stress, we had a talk the next morning. I think when I get under too much I have a harder time overlooking his messy ways. Anyway, I think he understood a little how upset it made me that he was ignoring/blowing off/whatever you want to call it my reaction to his messiness. You're right, we've lived together a long time and I know this is how he is. But on the flip side, he knows how I am so we need to compromise. And yes, this is a stupid thing to fight over - which I brought up. When I came home that night, the crap all over the counter was picked up and replaced with some flowers.

Anyway, thanks again for letting me vent. And for the tips. He'll "behave" for a while but I fully expect him to lapse. So I'll keep those in my back pocket for next time.