Your comments about "our culture" are not accurate. I live two blocks from the World Trade Center and I saw many acts of selflessness on 9/11 and for a long, long, long time afterward.
Another example is the flooding in Nashville, TN. The Red Cross expressed amazement how little need for immediate aid there was; the city really did organize to take care of itself under very difficult circumstances.
I have admiration and respect for the Japanese people, and I don't doubt their culture has virtues which are of great value in a disaster. I cannot even fathom what they are experiencing, and it won't be over any time soon.
However, I don't think we need to ignore what is good about our culture in order to give them the admiration and respect they certainly deserve.