Body Drama?

[PamNY]

This thread makes me appreciate my mom. She was, I think, ahead of her time (I"m talking about 1950s and 1960s, and we were in the conservative south). There weren't books exactly like this one, but what there was, she got for me.

I remember a kerfuffle when I was age six or so -- some church lady was upset that I knew and used the word "pregnant." My mom was occasionally known to tell people "you raise your child and I will raise mine." Fairly radical for the preacher's wife in that time and place.

[limewave]

My dd is just 5 yo. And I have to say, even going through it myself, I was surprised how early body comparison and pressure starts on girls! And sadly, all that I've seen so far has been from other moms.

I had a friend who's dd is the same age. We took a camping trip over a year ago, so the girls were just 4yo. We went on a hike and her dd struggled to keep up. My friend (no longer a friend) yelled at her DD that she was fat and if she stopped eating so many snacks she might be able to keep up with my dd! I was APPALLED! That is just one example, she made a lot of comments along those lines, comparing our dd's bodies and right in front of the girls.

And I have another friend who is also hyper body size sensitive. Every time we get together I can expect the once-over. I can see her sizing me up: have I gained weight, lost weight, toned-up, have my boobs changed size. And then she has to comment on it. Ugh. I love her, but sheesh. Her dd is also the same age as mine. And she'll post comments on FB about how her dd is so skinny, she can still fit into her 5T skinny jeans or her 4T Clothes.

Why? Why do we do this to our girls? I was an overweight child and it was awful. The comments I got from my peers were horrible. But I was devastated when I could hear my mom's friends talking about it.

[shootingstar]

Wow, can't imagine having good friends who asked me about my weight, etc. each time they saw me or even occasionally ask.

They would not be my friends ...by nature. My face-to-face, close friends care about their weight but we don't talk much about it because we so seldom see each other that we must talk about other priority stuff. I am aware each of these long-time friends..over 25 yr. long friendships, taken up certain regular forms of exercise, they try to eat healthy, not perfect.

Hey folks, these face-to-face friends know I lost a sister to suicide. Do you think by now they would be dumb-critical (of me), enough to do that to me? Such women just remain distant acquaintances to me.

Would these friends still do this physical once-over to you as a friend if you lost a sister the way I did?? Think about it, how ...wrong and in a way, abit self-centred of them if they were still physique comparing under those circumstances...it's more a reflection of their own insecurities vs. about anyone else's body image. I know I've chosen an extreme example, but just to highlight..how inappropriate of supposedly a "good" friend -- at any time. A true friendship is not some sort of keeping-up-with-the-Joneses game.

[shootingstar]

My dietary needs have changed. They have to.

Hardly any white rice, less high glycemic foods, etc. My bread consumption has reduced by 50% in past 12 months. Otherwise my natural insulin production goes whacky and I don't feel the best. This is partially due to my aging but not necessarily indicative of all other people's aging patterns. This change is at the advice of ....2 doctors. So this dietary change has occurred gradually in past 4 yrs.

Am eating more fresh fruit, just a wide range of fruits. I probably should eat more orange/red veggies... carotene, etc.

I seem to have a need to drink alot more fluid over the years. In my 20's to early '30s I could bike same distance with 30% less fluid than I ingest now. Maybe a book could tell me that though admittedly I'm not concerned. I just have adjust.

[Crankin]

My dietary needs have changed, as yours, Shooting Star. I don't think I am getting insulin spikes, just plain weight gain if I eat white rice, bread, etc. I mostly ate whole wheat stuff anyway, but now anything white is seen as a treat.
None of my friends, cycling or otherwise, would ever comment on my appearance. Maybe a "you look nice today," but nothing else. But, sometimes, when I go places, I see other women giving me the once over, as you described, Limewave.
I wouldn't mind if someone commented on my muscles, though.

[shootingstar]

I wouldn't mind if someone commented on my muscles, though.

That would be a great compliment for any of us. (Right now, I wouldn't believe them because the long hard winters here, I've lost enough cycling conditioning...It's embarrassing. )