Now it's about wrinkles

[malkin]

Not only did I love my grandmothers despite their appearance, I loved their appearance. One had the most fantastic crazy white hair, and the other one...well, I was shocked to find out that the lovely colors and veins on the back of her hands were not universally considered attractive.

[Biciclista]

Not only did I love my grandmothers despite their appearance, I loved their appearance. One had the most fantastic crazy white hair, and the other one...well, I was shocked to find out that the lovely colors and veins on the back of her hands were not universally considered attractive.

exactly~!!!

[tulip]

Oh, I love a good mani-pedi, facial, and massage. I suppose I could get manis-pedis-facials every month instead if taking Pilates and yoga classes, but my limited financial resources go to what I deem most important to me. If I come into some bucks in the future, I'd be more than happy to be pampered as much as possible.

[Crankin]

Mimi, the thing is that both of my grandmothers did not have many wrinkles, bags, or sags when they died. They were both thin (certainly not from exercise!) and had beautiful skin. I know my mom's mom became gray in her thirties, not sure about the other one; but she was gray as long as I can remember her, too. They spent lots of time working on themselves. So did my mom; the difference was that she exercised, even when it wasn't popular. Aside from the fact that my mom died at a way too young age from a rare liver disease, she was so beautiful, petite, and youthful looking, there were many times when people thought we were sisters and my dad was her dad and my dad! We shared clothes until I was well into my twenties, almost 30. I didn't look like my mom, but I guess I am trying to say is that these are the role models I had, and frankly, I will be happy to be like them. The only difference is that I don't mind getting dirty and sweaty and like the accomplishment of sports. So did my mom, but she was really born a generation too soon.

[shootingstar]

Hmm...I know what /why my facial skin doesn't respond too well to the skin, by freckling etc. as I age, I just look at my parents. That's where I inherited it from.

No, I actually don't worry as much about the wrinkles, I'm getting them abit. I just have to be more attentive in using lotions. Yes, true there is an advantage now, to have abit oilier facial skin. Most of the women I know who had that tendency like myself as teenagers, look fine now in their 50's in terms of their skin texture.

I consider having a different different body shape than my mother (who had 6 children, gained 30 lbs. over the years, has back problems, etc.), a big switch. As long as I keep at a reasonable weight, that's a great foundation above all.

[emily_in_nc]

Oh, I love a good mani-pedi, facial, and massage. I suppose I could get manis-pedis-facials every month instead if taking Pilates and yoga classes, but my limited financial resources go to what I deem most important to me. If I come into some bucks in the future, I'd be more than happy to be pampered as much as possible.

I don't do any of those things, but I have no problem with women who do. My choices are just different. I choose to retire at 50, and with that choice, a lot of other financial decisions flow. If I wanted to work longer, I could do a lot of those things, but I'm tired of working!

[malkin]

If I had retired at 50 I'd be homeless and pushing a shopping cart! Just imagine my hair and skin then!

[Crankin]

Yeah, to continue the off topic, I kinda get peeved at those ads, too, Emily. There is a running joke in my house about "bathtubs." Who the hell sits in a bathtub outside their house?
One time, a few years ago, I had taped some program to show my students. As I was fast forwarding through the ads, an ED commercial came on. Given they were 7th graders, the laughing commenced. I heard one of the boys say, "Get rid of those damn bathtubs!" Of course, I chuckled to myself, but I guess they saw it, because they all shouted, "Mrs. M is laughing!"
I think men feel anti-aging pressure about this more than we realize. They don't talk about it.

[PamNY]

all I can say is think back and remember your favorite grandmother. You loved her despite her wrinkles, bags, sags, bad teeth. None of that stuff really matters. Certainly take care of your body, it's the only one that you get, but no one except for maybe your NEW lover looks at you that closely and certainly not that judgmentally!

What lovely comment. As I child I was fascinated by the loose skin and veins on my beautiful grandmother's hands, and I loved her grey hair.

I don't need a book to push me to be wiser. I have a healthy appreciation for intelligence. You can be wise and beautiful at the same time. Why are the 2 seen as mutually exclusive? It feels like that perpetuates the "dumb blonde" stereotype.

Crankin, I agree. Who said beauty and intelligence can't exist in the same person? I am amazed that this idea is still around -- plenty of highly intelligent, successful women have some vanity -- and why shouldn't they?

I also roll my eyes at the idea that "our society" pushes vanity and "the media" are to blame.

Human beings have always paid attention to appearance. Spend some time in a museum, or study a bit of history. We aren't the first to think about how we look to others.

I don't know if this fallacy comes from ignorance or egotism, but there's no reason to clutch our pearls over botox.

Other animals (and we are animals) go to great lengths to make themselves attractive to potential mates. Some of what we are talking about here is probably hard-wired into our brains.

It's also not true that everyone goes overboard with plastic surgery. I have two friends who had face lifts and they look just fine. Both are successful, professional women with active, interesting lives. One is a very strong woman whom I met doing animal rescue after Katrina. She's not a delicate flower, and she exudes life and energy.

[emily_in_nc]

If I had retired at 50 I'd be homeless and pushing a shopping cart! Just imagine my hair and skin then!

Yes, I know how very fortunate I am to be able to do this. Chalk it up to going into a fairly well-paid field (software engineering), living below our means, and not being able to have children. I figured if I couldn't be a mom, I should at least take advantage of one of the perks of not having to save for college educations: early retirement. Things would be very different if we'd had children, and I'm sure I'd be working until 62 at least.

[malkin]

Way to go!

(It's likely that I'll be working until the day I drop dead.)