Body Drama?

[maillotpois]

Mine will be 15 next week and she laughed a little awkwardly when I gave it to her. But I think she'll enjoy it. It fits in well with a breast size discussion we had this weekend (after she helped me size a bra. )

[redrhodie]

I got my library copy the other day. A lot of the adult Amazon reviewers said they wished they had it when they were younger, and although that's true, I wish even more there was a 40+ version. The current threads on going gray and wrinkles make me think I'm not the only one with questions about the changes at this point in life. If it exists, please point me to it.

This definitely would have helped my self esteem as a teenager. Instead, at the age when this book would have been most helpful, I got a subscription to "Seventeen Magazine". How scary is that? Talk about warped. Had I known I was healthy and normal as I was, I would have done a lot less worrying, made some better choices, and avoided some trauma.

[shootingstar]

I got my library copy the other day. A lot of the adult Amazon reviewers said they wished they had it when they were younger, and although that's true, I wish even more there was a 40+ version. The current threads on going gray and wrinkles make me think I'm not the only one with questions about the changes at this point in life. If it exists, please point me to it.

I think there are books about 40+ women who get over their insecurities about their bodies...and they end up going on worldwind bike tour or kayak trip whatever.

And write a book about it! That's the whole point, such books are about their adventures, not about them venting on grey hair, weight, etc.

[PamNY]

This thread makes me appreciate my mom. She was, I think, ahead of her time (I"m talking about 1950s and 1960s, and we were in the conservative south). There weren't books exactly like this one, but what there was, she got for me.

I remember a kerfuffle when I was age six or so -- some church lady was upset that I knew and used the word "pregnant." My mom was occasionally known to tell people "you raise your child and I will raise mine." Fairly radical for the preacher's wife in that time and place.

[limewave]

My dd is just 5 yo. And I have to say, even going through it myself, I was surprised how early body comparison and pressure starts on girls! And sadly, all that I've seen so far has been from other moms.

I had a friend who's dd is the same age. We took a camping trip over a year ago, so the girls were just 4yo. We went on a hike and her dd struggled to keep up. My friend (no longer a friend) yelled at her DD that she was fat and if she stopped eating so many snacks she might be able to keep up with my dd! I was APPALLED! That is just one example, she made a lot of comments along those lines, comparing our dd's bodies and right in front of the girls.

And I have another friend who is also hyper body size sensitive. Every time we get together I can expect the once-over. I can see her sizing me up: have I gained weight, lost weight, toned-up, have my boobs changed size. And then she has to comment on it. Ugh. I love her, but sheesh. Her dd is also the same age as mine. And she'll post comments on FB about how her dd is so skinny, she can still fit into her 5T skinny jeans or her 4T Clothes.

Why? Why do we do this to our girls? I was an overweight child and it was awful. The comments I got from my peers were horrible. But I was devastated when I could hear my mom's friends talking about it.

[shootingstar]

Wow, can't imagine having good friends who asked me about my weight, etc. each time they saw me or even occasionally ask.

They would not be my friends ...by nature. My face-to-face, close friends care about their weight but we don't talk much about it because we so seldom see each other that we must talk about other priority stuff. I am aware each of these long-time friends..over 25 yr. long friendships, taken up certain regular forms of exercise, they try to eat healthy, not perfect.

Hey folks, these face-to-face friends know I lost a sister to suicide. Do you think by now they would be dumb-critical (of me), enough to do that to me? Such women just remain distant acquaintances to me.

Would these friends still do this physical once-over to you as a friend if you lost a sister the way I did?? Think about it, how ...wrong and in a way, abit self-centred of them if they were still physique comparing under those circumstances...it's more a reflection of their own insecurities vs. about anyone else's body image. I know I've chosen an extreme example, but just to highlight..how inappropriate of supposedly a "good" friend -- at any time. A true friendship is not some sort of keeping-up-with-the-Joneses game.

[shootingstar]

My dietary needs have changed. They have to.

Hardly any white rice, less high glycemic foods, etc. My bread consumption has reduced by 50% in past 12 months. Otherwise my natural insulin production goes whacky and I don't feel the best. This is partially due to my aging but not necessarily indicative of all other people's aging patterns. This change is at the advice of ....2 doctors. So this dietary change has occurred gradually in past 4 yrs.

Am eating more fresh fruit, just a wide range of fruits. I probably should eat more orange/red veggies... carotene, etc.

I seem to have a need to drink alot more fluid over the years. In my 20's to early '30s I could bike same distance with 30% less fluid than I ingest now. Maybe a book could tell me that though admittedly I'm not concerned. I just have adjust.

[redrhodie]

I think there are books about 40+ women who get over their insecurities about their bodies...and they end up going on worldwind bike tour or kayak trip whatever.

And write a book about it! That's the whole point, such books are about their adventures, not about them venting on grey hair, weight, etc.

I'm looking more for a primer on what to expect with the 40+ year old body, what's normal, how/what parts change, stuff like that, with pictures, ideas for maintaining health, knowing what the inevitable changes are, what are environmental impacts, and genetic ones. I was honestly not expecting my eyes to change so rapidly. Changes to the waistline seem to be inevitable from what I've seen from people around me, but is that really true? I have a lot of questions like that, and probably I have a lot of changes coming that I don't even know about, and that's what I'm looking to avoid. Being caught off guard, like I was with this vision business.

Pam, you're lucky your mother was so open with you. My mother was raised to not talk about anything, to the point where she thought she was dying when she got her first period, because no one told her it was coming. She was very uncomfortable talking about any bodily functions and sex. In high school, my best friend gave me a copy of "Our Bodies Ourselves" which I can't remember if my mother knew I had. In hindsight, I should have given her a copy! I also remember her thinking she was pregnant at the start of menopause, so she obviously still didn't have a good network of women she could talk to.

[shootingstar]

I'm looking more for a primer on what to expect with the 40+ year old body, what's normal, how/what parts change, stuff like that, with pictures, ideas for maintaining health, knowing what the inevitable changes are, what are environmental impacts, and genetic ones. I was honestly not expecting my eyes to change so rapidly. Changes to the waistline seem to be inevitable from what I've seen from people around me, but is that really true? I have a lot of questions like that, and probably I have a lot of changes coming that I don't even know about, and that's what I'm looking to avoid. Being caught off guard, like I was with this vision business.

Since you do cycle and some other form of exercise, are you really that concerned redhodie at this time? How old are you?

So far you have probably read over the last few years some women's experiences in TE about perimenopause and menopause. Some of it the usual, hot flashes, heavy or unexpected periods, etc. and then there are some women like myself who don't exhibit terrible symptoms at all, where it's just fading pleasantly into the horizon.

Some of us who are aging well, just don't speak up enough in TE. Because we may not want the others who feel not the best, to feel worse/more frustrated.

Probably most people --female and male would affirm that their metabolism simply slows down abit compared to when their 20's. However it can be boosted as you know, by regular exercise, eating more properly at the right times, etc.

I can do all the reading, plumb the expertise of doctors, but probably will come up with same truisms:

*some of how I age is hereditary: I no longer have to shave my legs, pits that often. Maybe 2-3 times per year. I'm getting hairless (hopefullynot my head!) as I age. I've inherited this trait from my mother.

*my metabolism has slowed down: So exercise, food portion control, sensible diet is necessary. (Do I need to carb load alot now for a long trip? Well, for me, alot less compared to 15 yrs. ago.)

*I will get grey hair..but it is probably getting delayed. For mysterious reasons I can't explain. Maybe hereditary trait here. My 82 yr. father is not grey, he's just getting abit bald. (I prefer not to colour my hair if I can avoid it...it's just healthier and cheaper. It's just 1 more set of chemicals on myself that in the end, I don't really need.)


*I probably should take in more calcium but simply have been abit lazy. Meanwhile I continue to drink skim milk daily. No more than 1 cup daily.

*My eyesight is very slowly degrading now. I only started to wear reading glasses last year. I'm 52. (I know someone else a few yrs. older who has cataracts..) I need to wear sunglasses often, which is a good thing. I read somewhere daily exposure to alot of sun for eyes, can eventually increase cataract risk, etc.

And so on.

Actually ...I tend to think more about the financial side...will I be able to support myself fully when I get quite old? When can I fully retire? These questions are not really that far-fetched, when some of my closest friends can consider early retirement, when where I work there is a wave of retirements of people not much older than I.

I can't use my mother as my accurate benchmark. Her life is totally different than mine. I can only gauge on evidence, what I have biologically inherited from her (and my father). There is compelling evidence in my family, that if I observe healthy eating and frequent exercise, I will not suffer multiple medical complications in a severe way.

Though we cannot know the future, we have to do our best now. Then later, we will not regret that we haven't tried.

[redrhodie]

Since you do cycle and some other form of exercise, are you really that concerned redhodie at this time? How old are you?

I'm going to be 44 this year, so yes, the 40+ year old body, and its changes, are a concern for me. I'm not saying I'm not aging well, or that I need to be concerned, but yes, I have questions. I know major changes in the female anatomy come in this decade, but I'm not sure all this entails and what to expect. I'm sure that a lot of women my age also don't know what to expect. I'm sure a lot of women hate the changes because they think they should be looking like a 20 year old super model, as is the typical image presented by the media. Hopefully we know by now it's not an honest image, but it's what we've been given, and I'm willing to bet that a lot of women don't accept their natural progression as well as they could if they knew the truth, and that's the book I'm looking for.

[redrhodie]

As another example of what I'm talking about, are questions about how the body functions as we produce less of certain hormones. How does that change our dietary needs? It's all connected, and if one thing changes, everything else changes. How about weight? Are the weight tables that are used for a 16 year old, still the ones you should follow as a 40 year old? Yeah, I know there's a lot of debate about those tables to being with, but they're in every health book (including "Body Drama"), so they're the ones I'm questioning.