Dear woman from the Ohio EPA:

If you see in my email signature that I live in Colorado, don't call my cell phone after I don't answer at the office at 8am EST. There's a time change that makes it 6 am here and I will not be happy to hear from you.

Also, for the love of all things you hold dear, stop using apostrophes to pluralize words! You're putting the English language to shame. (I might have forgiven your poor email skills had you not called so early but the wrath of the grammar demon has been awakened).

Grumpily yours,
ZZZzzzzZZZZZzzzzz