Self-compassion and motivation

[shootingstar]

I haven't read the article yet.

Half of the time, my problem is I forget when I'm busy and might not eat at the right time, etc. I guess that's a form of benign self-denial.

[GLC1968]

That doesn't surprise me even a little bit.

I am notoriously self-critical. It's so bad that I probably have permanently damaged some parts of my own self-image. I've been doing it my whole life.

Just the other day, I was flipping through one of my journals. I was interested in what was the trigger that got me headed back down my current path of fitness again when I was at my highest weight a year and a half ago. I'd completely forgotten about it, but apparently a letter to the editor of a magazing about an over-weight (read: normal sized) model was key. I saved a photo of a bunch of beautiful but not skinny women in my journal and used it as a spark to stop beating myself up so much. I wasn't much bigger than they were and clearly, they were gorgeous. I can't really explain it in full detail without going into a multi-page post, but ultimately, it came down to feeling like I was WORTH the indulgence of a workout. Basically, when I was in a pattern of beating myself up daily, I didn't feel like I deserved the time to myself to workout or eat right. I had a farm to run, I had a job to do, I had goats to milk and seeds to plant, I had a house that needed work, I had a husband to 'take care of', etc... Time for a workout? Time to prep healthy food? Nope, not right now...maybe later. I'm not worth it, other stuff is more important. I'd see a really heavy lady power walking and think "good for her" but when my own butt jiggled as I jumped off the orchard ladder all I could think was "lard a$$". It was more than just allowing myself the time, too. At my worst, there were days that I would purposely eat the most horrendous choice I could just to give me an excuse for being fat or feeling like crap. Honestly, looking back and reading my journal has been a huge eye-opener for me. I didn't realize that I'd gotten that bad!

My life and my attitude have both changed drastically (not without a few mis-steps along the way) and I can totally see how being kinder to oneself is critical to long term consistency and success.

[Melalvai]

This is a good discussion (not having read the article yet). This week I discovered the Heart Rate Monitor as a tool to make me less demanding of myself. I've been running with a bunch of tall fast guys. (I'm not particularly fast among women of my height.) I don't expect to be able to keep up with them, but I do feel the pressure when they are getting smaller and smaller...until they disappear entirely and then I forget about them the rest of the run.

Since I started wearing the HR monitor, every time I start to feel like I'm running too slow, I consult it before I start to speed up. Every time, it turns out my HR has already increased. So I'm not "allowed" to speed up because I want to stay below lactate acid threshold. That gives me time to think about how I'm doing just as much with what I have as they are. They just happen to have more!

[celticgarden]

Affirmations and mediation. That's what I've been trying out. Age has helped, being in my 40s I find that I just don't care what people think anymore. I have accomplished so much in life, I know I'm doing my best from the place where I am.

A few years back I got some self hypnosis cds, set up a cd player by my bed and listen when the mood strikes. I found that listening to a kind, positive voice was immensely wonderful. When a day had gone by without a kind word being said about me (either by others or by myself) I found peace in hearing it from those CDs. The focus of the hypnosis was either weight loss or self healing, pretty benign stuff. On a day when I felt angry at something that happened at work listening to a CD that encourages one to let go of negativity would be a cure most of the time.

Meditation and visualization have proven benefits so that's my latest interest. But I don't beat myself up for not being consistent about practicing. I've come to realize that I have a roller coaster of interests paired with too little time to do everything. I cut myself a break and just try to be positive, laugh (I tend to the serious!) and live life!

[badger]

A few years back I got some self hypnosis cds, set up a cd player by my bed and listen when the mood strikes. I found that listening to a kind, positive voice was immensely wonderful. When a day had gone by without a kind word being said about me (either by others or by myself) I found peace in hearing it from those CDs. The focus of the hypnosis was either weight loss or self healing, pretty benign stuff. On a day when I felt angry at something that happened at work listening to a CD that encourages one to let go of negativity would be a cure most of the time.

this is an excellent idea. Who produced those CDs, where did you get them?

[celticgarden]

I got them here http://www.wendi.com/

Picked up a few others at amazon from reading their reviews.

[celticgarden]

I submitted a reply but it said it needed moderator approval before it would be posted. My cds came from wendi (that would be dot com). I'm definitely not pushing any commercial venture! I just found them to be soothing and "safe." I was cautious in choosing hypnosis material, don't need any weird subliminal stuff piped into my brain....

[sundial]

GLC, your post is very touching.