(((((sunrise)))))

I'm so sorry this has all happened to you. What an insensitive (and, if I may say so, poorly trained) coach. If I understand correctly though, this was not your coach - just someone at a camp you attended - so you never have to deal with him again? If I were you, I wouldn't put myself in a position to have contact with that person again, whatever it took.

I'm so glad you're continuing in treatment - as you know, this is a long road to recovery, with peaks and valleys. I hope that you are working with at least one professional who's an athlete or who's trained in the needs of athletes.

Bicycle racing can be hard on the psyche. I'm not saying you shouldn't continue - only you, hopefully with the help of your therapist, know the answer to that question - but perhaps a switch to, say, triathlon or duathlon might be healthier for you.

Red has good advice. One of the precious lessons you're learning is to listen to and trust your body. Don't let some @zzh0le shout down those fragile messages.

And welcome to TE.