Here's an interesting bit of info- I was getting rashy and tortured and had changed my saddle position to accomodate my screwed up lower back. Finally strengthened those muscles and put it back to normal, the chafing/ beating up on the skin stopped. I've also seen posts from other women here about this and how a seat adjustment resolved some dreadful troubles in this area, so that's something to think about. And there were copious amounts of but butter involved- I may have been too stingy with it in the past.
Anyway the problem suddenly backed down. Still like a fancy hair do though . Life is short, be adventurous.

Lizzy