Dear former university--
I understand that you don't want people who aren't presently associated with the university using your gym's equipment. But it means that, since I don't have a university ID, I can't see the friend I haven't seen for a long time. She's up here for a frisbee tournament.

Dear friend--
I'm sorry. I'm guessing you're leaving right after (can't blame you), or I'd have suggested we get dinner afterward.

Dear same friend's mom--
I like you as a person, I just don't agree with your political views. Stop asking what I think of X, Y, or Z, please.