Quote Originally Posted by tangentgirl View Post
What do you do when someone lies to your face? Straight up, just plain tells you something that is not at all true?

I don't mean "your haircut looks fine" when the true response is "it will grow out soon." I mean "I didn't do that" when you just saw the video of them doing exactly that.

Just caught a coworker in what I'm about 85% sure is a lie. Not enough to call him out, but damn, whatever that was sure was convenient.

It got me thinking to the times - and there have been a few - where people have completely lied to me in professional situations. And I know they lied, 100% sure. It really, really gets me riled up. I kind of take it personally, and wow I get mad.

How do you deal with that? And how do you stay professional?
Thankfully, I have not had to deal with lying--at least anything more than white lies--in a professional setting. If I did, I'd make sure to establish a paper trail (or use other ways to CYA) as often as possible when dealing with someone who I don't trust. If the lie legitimately affected my own job performance or how I was viewed by the powers that be, then I'd be prepared to confront the situation head on. Now, that might mean talking privately to the person in question or confiding in a supervisor or HR person. It would really depend on the situation.

I have dealt with plenty of liars in my personal life. One former friend, in particular, had a nasty habit of lying to me. Note that I said former. At first, I really tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, but the frequency with which I found myself on the receiving end of a fabrication finally got to me enough that I simply walked away. I finally came to the conclusion that she was either a bit of a nut or thought that I was the most naive person on the planet. Either way, it didn't bode well.

In dealing with a sister with Borderline Personality Disorder, I do try to appreciate--as hard as it is--that some people lie because of a pathology of some kind. My sister has told some shocking lies over the years. If I understand the literature on BPD, she may not even be aware--in the way that a fully sane person is--that she's lying. The needs she's attempting to meet by lying are so deeply rooted in her psyche, that the lie IS her reality, at least in the moment that it's first told. If that makes sense.

I don't have a relationship with her, in part because of the lies. Regardless of her reasons, I can't be close to someone who seeks attention and "love" by telling people that her husband has a brain tumor or that she has lupus (as a few for instances).