Hey smilingcat, I hate diet plans too. I don't want to count calories. And I also don't like to stop eating certain food groups completely. I hate carrot sticks
I am not doubting that those things may work for a lot of people, but they don't work for me.

As you realized, you can't maintain self control if you are hungry. My personal weight loss "plan" is to eat enough to never be hungry, but eat the right things. I try to keep eating the right things before I even start to crave the wrong ones.
Eat 3-4 meals a day, always eat breakfast. (Don't eat more, but also, never eat less!)

Portion control without counting calories: Always try to eat 1 "piece" of protein-rich food about as big as the palm of your hand, at least 2 handful of vegetables and at most 1 handful of carbohydrates. For example eat a steak about as big as the palm of your hand, as much Brokkoli/other vegetables/salad as you like, and 1 handful of Quinoa. (This doesn't always work this perfect - but it gives an idea of how much you can eat.)
Always try to eat enough protein for every meal. And try to eat "real" food, whole grains, I think you get the idea.

This has worked for me and my husband for the last 1 1/2 years and we lost weight slowly but steadily without counting and weighting everything. There's wiggle room if you have a sweet tooth, you don't need to be "perfect" all the time. We both have gone from fat to quite fit.
I try to keep this short, but if you think this could be the right thing for you I can try to explain it in detail, just let me know.