growing up.. rambling

[OakLeaf]

Probably related to what Irulan said is an unfolding scandal in Volusia County (Daytona Beach) Beach Patrol, where male career lifeguards in their 30s and 40s preyed on female lifeguards and sunbathers in their late teens, without regard for whether they were work subordinates, or legally of age to consent.

There is a phenomenon, no doubt, but I'm not sure from what lph said that her paper's article describes it.

Just to be devil's advocate, again, that male immaturity isn't necessarily victimless.

[Eden]

Scumbags aren't limited to the carefree, childless types.... lots appear to be good solid family men from the outside....

[PamNY]

Scumbags aren't limited to the carefree, childless types.... lots appear to be good solid family men from the outside....

Yes, indeed. Quite a few. And women, too, for that matter. Personally, I like an honest commitment-phobe more than a philandering-but-married Little League coach.

I don't see what's wrong with adults who live for themselves (as someone put it earlier). Most of my friends are single and focus on their own passions and interests -- and why not?

I wonder if time spent on art/museums/theater/concerts would seem immature to the writer of the article lph mentioned? There's really no difference in those activities and sports -- except that, I guess, they are more conventional, especially as one gets older.

[indysteel]

Probably related to what Irulan said is an unfolding scandal in Volusia County (Daytona Beach) Beach Patrol, where male career lifeguards in their 30s and 40s preyed on female lifeguards and sunbathers in their late teens, without regard for whether they were work subordinates, or legally of age to consent.

There is a phenomenon, no doubt, but I'm not sure from what lph said that her paper's article describes it.

Just to be devil's advocate, again, that male immaturity isn't necessarily victimless.

Agreed, which is why I said I didn't have a problem with it UNLESS it did somebody else harm. That said, I'm not sure "male immaturity" fully explains what happened in Daytona. Those men are pigs.

[Mr. Bloom]

Agreed, which is why I said I didn't have a problem with it UNLESS it did somebody else harm. That said, I'm not sure "male immaturity" fully explains what happened in Daytona. Those men are pigs.

I agree that it's not a maturity issue, that's a function of not knowing appropriate limits...and knowing appropriate limits is not a function of age as much as it is upbringing and/or social environment (or borderline personality traits).

...and it's not a uniquely "male" issue...Mary Kay Letourneau might be a case in point of one not knowing proper limits with her 14 yr old student/lover.

[GLC1968]

I agree with most of what has been said here and when I read LPH's original post, I admit to bristling to the descriptions right along with her.

I didn't get married until I was 35 and even then, I only did it because I found a man whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It had nothing to do with wanting to build a family or 'grow up'. In fact, by the author's definition, I'm sure we are not really grown ups. We don't have kids. We change careers all the time (not just me!), we moved across the country on a whim, he climbs mountains, I do triathlons, we both cycle, eat unhealthy foods, etc...

On the flip side, we are both educated and hold good jobs, we own a house, we have purchased life insurance, we have no cc debt and we have 25+ animals that depend on us for their lives...if that's not responsible and 'grown up', I'm not sure what is.

That said, I'm not sure I know what it feels like to be grown up. I hope I never do.

Indysteel - I agree with your thoughts about if commitentment phobes or whomever actually need to grow up. As long as they are not a drain on anyone else or on society as a whole, then why does it matter how they choose to spend their lives?

[ivorygorgon]

I don't get why growing up means growing sedentary. We don't have the whole article here, but what is written about it seems to imply that because this guy likes to be active, he is childish. I don't get that. As many people here have voiced, they are active, yet take care of their adult responsibilities. The two aren't mutually exclusive.