growing up.. rambling

[TsPoet]

Has nothing to do with "growing up". In our overpopulated world, I'd say not having kids is the responsible thing to do! I also feel that 'coupling' has been brainwashed into us. I've always felt that way, and still feel that way, even though I have an SO.
We don't need to couple or have kids to be grown up or responsible. I like my life, I am active, I am busy, I have a job, I pay my taxes, I help out friends when I can...
I respect people with spouses (and ex-spouses) and children... but I don't think they are grown up and I'm not.

[lph]

yeah, that was what I was thinking - doing what you love or being "unconventional" (which is a pretty meaningless term nowadays) has nothing to do with being young or not grown-up. Young doesn't equate free, attractive, daring, and old doesn't equate the opposite. Young is just young. I'm not young anymore, I'm not old, I'm an adult. I'm also not a girl, I'm a grown woman, and there's nothing inherently boring or staid in that. And there's certainly nothing negative or boring about being grown-up - when life hits you a hard one, it's the grown-ups around you you need, who will take care of you, comfort you and pick up the pieces.

[tulip]

Yep. I spent most of my 20s worrying about appearing like a "grown woman" to the outside world. Really, all I wanted to do was ride my bike, but I worried so much that doing so would not be an "acceptable thing for a grown woman to do." HA!

So in my 30s, I figured out that I had been wrong and started riding my bike again. I started riding to work. I even declined a good, professional job because they looked at me askew when I asked about changing facilities and bicycle parking. Granted, I had another offer the same week so snubbing the first offer was easier to do. The job I took had a commuter shower and bike racks in the lobby, however. No brainer.

I chose a long time ago not to have children. I, too, think that it's the unselfish thing to do. Many people, however, feel that my choice is extremely selfish. I've given up trying to explain to them that because they have chosen to have 5 kids (an ex friend, for example), I feel that it is irresponsible for me to have any. I could have adopted, I suppose, but I was not interested enough in the whole endeavor to pursue that option.

I'm 43, I ride my bike, I do all sorts of goofy things, I pay my taxes, I am well-educated and have a good job, and I make a difference in the world. Frankly, I'd rather spend my time with older folks than with children. I believe alot of older folks become forgotten. I really enjoy visiting with them and sharing their stories with them. That's where I choose to devote my energies. That and on my bike and in my community.

[mudmucker]

How sad that this may be a trend - that there are those that have found themselves amongst a narrowly defined set of rules or limited thinking. Life is for living and all options are on the table. It's just another opinion out there in the world. Fortunately and as expected, this does not appear to be a prevalent one as expressed by the responses thus far. Nor of the people who are in my life.

YI believe alot of older folks become forgotten. I really enjoy visiting with them and sharing their stories with them. That's where I choose to devote my energies.

I love this statement!!! How true that a very valuable part of our community sometimes gets lost in the shuffle. Their stories are so important.

[shootingstar]

I found this pretty irritating, to tell the truth, and thought-provoking. I didn't like the implication that this guy filling his life with his favourite activities was so that he could feel "young" and have an attractive body, I'm sure he does them because it gives him immense joy and fulfillment (of the soul!), and because all his friends are there. He had a job so he pays taxes, and as far as I'm concerned he is being as responsible an adult as anyone could ask for. Because isn't that what being an adult is about? Taking responsibility, for your own life, your own choices, and the people around you? Having kids magically forces a lot of people to grow up, myself included, but actively choosing to not have children is just as responsible an action. Being an adult should have something to do with accepting that you play a role in society and participating and giving something back, and taking the consequences of your actions and choices, but it shouldn't have anything to do with how you spend your free time.

I would agree all that is said. I think the news article was written wrongly with a certain slant that makes those without childcare, eldercare responsibilities etc. as "less" responsible.

[channlluv]

See, I'm thinking the responsible thing to do is to buy my 12-year-old her own road bike so we can go riding together. That way I don't miss my workouts. I'll be healthier and live longer to be a better mother to her. And we'll bond over cycling.

I don't see how staying healthy and vital and active is at all irresponsible, especially if one has kids, but either way, a healthy, vital population is just better for the community as a whole all the way around. There are no downsides to living an active life.

lph, I think you should write a letter to the editor of that paper and voice what you've voiced here.

Roxy