No sympathy, please.

[shootingstar]

Good point, except I take issue with your analogy of a person in a wheelchair. This implies that someone else is worse off, so you should be grateful for what you have. Which should NOT be the point. And should not make Z's challenges any less valid.

My colleagues who are in wheelchairs and/or are advocates for the disabled tell me that the person in the wheelchair doesn't want your pity; they are grateful for the mobility and independence that a good working wheelchair offers them. Whether they have needed it their entire lives or it is an adaptation that was needed later, the point is that you find a way to live your life meaningfully with what you have..

I green highlighted this, which is essentially what I said.

I think I've mentioned this before in this forum: For 3 yrs. I worked at a rehab. hospital for spinal cord injured adults. Very early in my career, a yr. after finishing university. I'm sure the OP here, is aware of such clients that she may have encountered already.

No, people don't want pity but several ...such as close friends, will remind one if you should forget that they can't bike... such as friend who was mildly physically disabled due to childhood polio. She went hiking and backpacking for several wks. but she did gently reminded me when I went on rhapsodizing about a bike trip that I did.

Another friend who had severe astigmatism and also her eyes didn't stay still (don't know the condition) was registered as blind...her vision was quite low. Once she got pissed off at me when I remarked at the scenery going by when we were on a bus. She reminded me she couldn't see much at all. I literally forgot about her disability at times and it would come out in such blunders or in my case, it was genuine oversight.

And she would tell me, it ticked her off to read the media stories of super accomplished/athletic physically disabled..."either we're super human strong or gimps to be patronized). (Meanwhile she was very extroverted herself, became a manager, etc.....)

You know similar to wanting to do tris, marathons, but not successful, yet overlooking other accomplishments and pleasures in life.

Wonder if original poster is reading all this.