Hello Everyone,

I am glad to have found this forum and this will be my first post.

I am an active woman like all of you, and this year will mark the BIG 4-0 for me. I nearly cringe to say it, but I'll get over it.

What has been happening to me lately is crazy. Just downright depressing. In fact, I AM depressed. I have participated in many triathlons, also seperate cycling and running events. But that seems like a dream to me now. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (RA) in the fall. I had some troubling symptoms, but I always just felt that it was related to my extremely active lifestyle. In addition, I was completing my Master of Occupational Therapy degree, which I felt may have been contributing to my fatigue. But then the pain became worse (7/10 most days), and the fatigue was seriously screwing up my life. Then shortly following the dx of RA came the depression. Like a big black blanket covering up my goal oriented personality and snuffing out my hopes to pursue the rest of my dreams. To make matters worse, I have gained about 20-30 lbs, where I had previously enjoyed being trim with an athletic build. I am tall about 5'10 (and shrinking), so carrying extra weight puts me in the "big" category.

I sit here and shake my head and sigh, as I struggle to find a solution that fits in with my life. I hired a trainer two weeks ago, and that is going well. I need someone to push me when I can't push myself. I am still doing my work-outs 5-6 times a week, but it is a mental struggle nearly every time. The pain and fatigue don't seem worth it sometimes. I am a therapist, and I use my mind and body to work everyday, and it's exhausting on it's own sometimes (most times).

My questions are:
How the heck am I going to ride the storm out?
How will I be able to do the Tri's and rides I do every year if I can't match my intensity of prior years?
Is this all there is?????

If anyone has experienced these feelings or has gone through a similar situation, anything that you can share with me will be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

Z~