Quote Originally Posted by badger View Post
Regardless of the fact he may have been physically and or emotionally absent makes it worse because I'm mourning for something I wished.
(((((((Badger))))))))

Do you realize that you are mourning two losses? You are in the process of mourning a significant death and you will experience and ebb and flow to your healing process. Right now you may feel as if the tide went out and you are left standing on a beach with little pools of water that you can reflect on. When your healing process brings you to the place where you can overcome your guilt and anger, you will begin to heal. Take each day as it is and allow yourself to feel sudden showers as they come. You have nothing to apologize for when it does come and know that with each tear that is shed, you are a little closer to having closure. Talk with your grief counselor on the days that are too overwhelming. Sit outside under a quilt and let the sunshine fall on your cheek. Nature has a way of soothing a broken spirit. Ride a path and dedicate it to your dad. Laugh a little. Cry a lot. Sing a childhood song that can take you back to a time when all you had to care about was the ice cream dripping off the bottom of your cone. Write a letter to your dad and tuck it away in a very special place to read at a later date. Perhaps when the time comes you may want to bury it and with it, all your negative feelings.

As you travel down this path, know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. ((((((gentle hug))))))