Hi Jolt,
I think you know that I learned to drive in the snow at age 37. Probably one of the most frightening things I've ever had to do. So, to answer your question, yes, AWD makes a huge difference, and so do real snow tires. Since you've been to my house, you probably can tell I could not get up my street or my driveway without AWD for a good part of the winter. My first 2 AWD cars were big, a mini van and a 4 Runner. But now I have small sedan and it's just as good. About 10 years ago, my DH was driving the 4 Runner in a blizzard, on a local road. We slid off the road, strictly because of the crappy "all weather" tires. So, I got real snow tires the next day. What a difference.
So AWD helps you with traction and stability, and so do the tires. While AWD is not what I humorously call all wheel stop, it helps you avoid situations where you might have to stop quickly and put yourself in a precarious situation. It might not have helped in your black ice situation (to me the scariest thing of all), but I had many horrific drives home in blizzards on 495, in the mid nineties, where my commute was either 40 miles or 20 miles and I did it with confidence because of the car I was driving with AWD.