I'm sorry but...

[Irulan]

What I hear when I hear that: "sorry...but'' is someone who is not willing to take full accountability for whatever it is they are attempting to be sorry for. Once you add a justification or explanation, you aren't being accountable. It's an attempt to weasel out of or water down your responsibility. What they are saying is, "I'm not really sorry but i want you to think I am."

[Kerry1976]

What I hear when I hear that: "sorry...but'' is someone who is not willing to take full accountability for whatever it is they are attempting to be sorry for. Once you add a justification or explanation, you aren't being accountable. It's an attempt to weasel out of or water down your responsibility. What they are saying is, "I'm not really sorry but i want you to think I am."

I couldn't agree more. Drives me nuts when people do this.

[malkin]

I put 'just kidding' in the same category. I guess you could combine them all, I'm sorry and I don't mean to sound racist but *racist insult here*; just kidding.

[Bike Writer]

What lph siad. It really matters what tone it's said in. A real true friend might express their sorrow to another friend and use "but" to add a comforting thought to the sentence. However, I don't believe "but" is necessary because to me it has bad connotations and tries (like others have said) to mitigate the words that come next. Sometimes that is appropriate. Yet tt is far more powerful to simply say to someone I'm sorry. If that is what you mean and then follow it with a new statement without "but". Sorry is powerful enough on it's own.

It reminds me of something I have heard younger kids, say 15 years old and younger that goes like this...."not to be rude or anything, but"...I've heard them telling this to their friends and I find it strange. So does proclaiming that you are not rude mitigate the fact that you are about to do something that is? That logic just cracks me up.

But is only three letters long but it has a pretty big meaning.

[lph]

Oh gawd. I just recalled another mannerism from uh, someone in my close family. "But!" When nobody is listening 'cause we're all fed up, and we're no longer asking polite follow-up questions because it's time for someone else to speak, or at the very least to change the subject... after a short silence this person will just look up and say "But! Did you know, bla-bla-bla" and go on for another twenty minutes. Drives me crazy.

And no, it's not the real "Hey! I just remembered something I have to tell you!" type of "but"...

[solobiker]

What I hear when I hear that: "sorry...but'' is someone who is not willing to take full accountability for whatever it is they are attempting to be sorry for. Once you add a justification or explanation, you aren't being accountable. It's an attempt to weasel out of or water down your responsibility. What they are saying is, "I'm not really sorry but i want you to think I am."

I agree with this 100%. Once the "but" is added it pretty much cancels out the sorry.