I'm on aluminum, but am thisclose to upgrading to a more aggressive, carbon frame. The vast majority of our roads are chip-seal and I am tired of returning from rides with numb hands, feet, and butt from the vibration. Hubby is a big guy on carbon and hasn't had major issues. Specialized did replace his frame (under lifetime warranty against manufacturer defect) when it developed an odd crack where the top tube meets the seat tube. He'd ridden 12-13k miles before noticing that spot.

So his bike really took a beating on our roads...plus a 250# beast on the saddle. From the sound of it carbon manufacturing has improved over the last few years, so I don't think most women have much to worry about, even on bad roads.