Bipolar II

[colorisnt]

Hi everyone.

I've been having a really hard time of it lately and even when I thought I was improving, I have been struggling. It is starting to effect my riding in a major way again and I really need some help for someone who has dealt with this.

I have recently been diagnosed BiPolar II. I have been diagnosed with chronic depression since I was 18 (so 5 years). I have been in pretty consistent therapy and working with a psychiatrist for all of this time. It runs in my family and we just don't talk about it.

I've been on a hypomanic episode for about a week (now I finally know what to call one, I always thought this was normal) and haven't slept for more than a couple of hours all week. Thinking that maybe my SSRI would help my low a few weeks ago, I was slowly titrating up on Zoloft to 150 mg. I have been there for the past week and have been throwing up, chilled, upset, you name it. So, I am coming down off that and starting Seroquel today hoping it will level me off and get me some rest. I am on about 12 mg of it to start.

Anyone else suffer from it? No one in my family talks about Bipolar II at all, even though several of my cousins and aunts/uncles suffer from it. It's very taboo and I still feel like a freak saying it, but I know I am not. It's just a disease. I feel comfortable enough saying it on here, so I thought I would ask. I mean, if we can talk about labial relief in a saddle, then I suppose this isn't weird at all. HAHA.

[tulip]

((((colorisnt))))

My mother has it, and it's not easy for her or for the people who love her. I have no advice, but I just want to say that I'm very proud of you for speaking up and acknowledging that it's a disease. Good for you for sticking with treatment all these years.

Nothing you can do about your family's reticence to talk about it. Remember, you cannot change their actions, you can only control how you respond to them.

Best to you, and keep us posted. You are right about talking about labial relief--that was very funny!

[indysteel]

What Tulip said times a billion. I don't have BPD, but it also runs in my family. I wish it wasn't so taboo to talk about mental illness and, in particular BPD. You might ask your docs if they can refer you to a local or online support group to help you connect to people who can directly relate. Of course, we're hear for you, too, with lots of virtual hugs, empathy and, hopefully, some good advice.

[colorisnt]

Thanks, ladies.

And you are so right, Tulip. It has been hard for me to learn this.

It's been weird these last few days. And I thought I was doing "great" yesterday until my therapist told my I looked like I hadn't slept in days. I hadn't, of course. But I thought I was fine even then. And I was going to ride to work today despite spending the whole morning being sick. I finally just had to get it into my head that this may have been normal for most of my life, but it has to stop now.

And indy, I will ask about a support group in the area. I know there is an organization locally that works to help fight stigma. I bet that is one place to go. The other thing I can do is talk to one of my support system friends here and ask. He is also BPDII and really has no qualms talking about it, which has really helped me, I think.

[Crankin]

You might want to keep a log of the medication and the effects, whether positive or negative. Also, how cycling affects your moods or the meds. I have my clients do this, especially when starting new meds. I'm not a physician, but sometimes it takes a long time to find the one that works. A support group would be great; have you ever thought about group therapy? I mean in addition to your regular sessions. It gives you a window into how other people process the same thing and how they perceive you. A skilled group therapist is a wonderful thing! So, not a support group, per se, which may be lay run, but a real group therapy experience where you can work on your issues, just as in individual therapy. Ask your therapist.

[OakLeaf]

(((((((colorisnt)))))))

What Tulip said. It took courage to say that. Take good care and I hope you get your meds sorted soon.