Breaking up (with your group) is hard to do...etiquette advice?

[abejita]

the headphones and aerobars on the group ride would be enough for me to stop riding with them.

The stopping every 12 miles would drive me nuts too...hubs and I usually stop every 25 miles or so.

[JennK13]

How do you know them? Are they "friends" you had before and started cycling with, or "just" a bike shop group or other cycling group that you met to ride with? Unless they're friends, you don't owe anyone an explanation, but as a group ride leader myself I would want to know "why" to try to fix it if this is an organized group, but would totally understand. One "regular" we had stopped coming all of a sudden, and we missed him. I shot him an email asking how he was and did we offend him or something. Turns out his son just started soccer on Saturday mornings and can't join us then, but wants to ride on other days/times. I wouldn't have known had I not asked.
Other people we either ride too slow or too fast for, and we try to help them find a group more suited to their ability and goals. The slow pace and stops would drive me crazy. My group kind of tease me that I just go and go! We only rest on "social" or coffee rides - otherwise, I'd go the full 30+ miles without stopping (that's what signals are for!) They all know they can tell me to stop or slow down if it's hot or someone is having an "off" day, and we have a good time. In fact the last two weeks we have record ride times on two of our regular routes, even cutting a ride down from 2 1/2 hrs to 2 hours flat - everyone was proud of such an accomplishment and it made us all feel good to be that much faster after riding all summer. It's nice to have a group with similar goals and riding abilities. You deserve it!

[tulip]

Why are you riding? Are you riding to make other people feel good, to be social, to make yourself feel good, or for some other reason? Once you acknowledge the "why," then the "what to do" is simple.

Personally, I would keep my distance from anyone who rides in a group with aero bars and/or with earphones.

[colorisnt]

Aero bars would be a deal breaker for me, too. At one of the charity rides I did there was a guy riding in a pack with aero bars and that for me is dangerous. If you don't know who you are riding with, it can be even MORE dangerous.

*head desk*

If you want to move up, do it. I know it will probably be uncomfortable, but it is their problem if they make it that way.

[indysteel]

Beyond the safety issues (headphones and aerobars are dealbreakers IMO), I think you should aim to be tactful and kind about the "breakup," as these people's only other "sin" is being too slow for your current goals. Try not to burn too many bridges if you can avoid it. Your current goal is to get faster and stronger, but you never know when that might change. I spent several years trying to get faster when I first started riding. Now I'm just content to ride.

Even when I was training hard, I tried to keep a good mix. Riding hard with the same group can get old.

[arielmoon]

Great thoughts and advice here!

I think it is obvious that this slow group is holding you back and it's time to move on, at least a few rides a week. I am on the tail end of the A groups here and faster than the B's. I have friends in both and they would never think of giving me a hard time for being with the other group. Well, maybe a little teasing. If I want a recovery type ride, I hang back and if I am feeling good I go out with the big dogs.

One gal is a very consistent B rider who is great for me to pace myself with on long charity/ event rides. She keeps me from blowing myself out!

[JuneHawk]

So, it's a slow group and some clown insists on riding on aerobars? Clown is right. This alone (fast or slow) would be enough for me to stop riding with them. Aerobars are dangerous in groups and you shouldn't have to put up with it.