I would definitely tend to agree that lifting during season is too much for most people. I tend to lift in the winter only, and although I have lifted my entire life, my legs always feel much better after lifting if I simply jump on the trainer for a few minutes. My legs then don't feel quite so "heavy".
The guys that you spoke with probably do lift more weight, but then the recovery phase of lifting may be very similar. When your legs are needing time off to recover, yours may not be getting it because of your riding. Although I don't know a lot about either of your training plans, I too, tend to think that you need to give your legs a bit of a break.
Good luck in sorting this out over the winter season
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