Dear So and So

[lph]

dear sweet cat,

i know you are just so beside yourself with joy that i actually came home and fed you at 1 am instead of forgetting your evening meal, and you are having a swell time lying upside down in my lap playing with ny necklace and purring your heart out.. but i'd really like to go to bed now, please. cant you just go somewhere and be boring?

one-handedly yours,
your human

[Catrin]

dear sweet cat,

i know you are just so beside yourself with joy that i actually came home and fed you at 1 am instead of forgetting your evening meal, and you are having a swell time lying upside down in my lap playing with ny necklace and purring your heart out.. but i'd really like to go to bed now, please. cant you just go somewhere and be boring?

one-handedly yours,
your human

Awwww, how sweet

[jelee1311]

Dear husband, thank you for the icepack for my leg,the understanding when I didn't want to go to your friend's birthday party even after I dragged you through 3 hours of pumpkin patch helll. Thank you for coming home from the party and cleaning up dog puke so I could go to bed,and cleaning up more dog puke(don't know what in gods name he ate) this morning so I could go to work. Thanks for picking up our daughter after your nasty,cold,muddy,wet CCX race and then asking me how my day went and actually listening. I'm sure I don't say it enough thank you

[Owlie]

Dear body--
Please tell me that this bout of the sniffles is because I haven't cleaned the apartment for mumblety mumblety and not because I'm getting a cold. I'll be plying you with hot tea and miso soup in the meantime...

[channlluv]

I know you're the head of the entire medical system's weight management program, and I know you're in charge of all of their weight management drug studies, and you're the guy in charge of their bariatric surgery programs, too...so I really, really was hoping for more helpful advice from you than, "At your age and with your genetics, the best you can hope for is to level yourself down to 180. You're a pear. You're very clearly a pear, with some apple overlay, but that apple fat will fall away quickly. This around your hips and thighs, this hangs on. I really don't have a program for you. I wouldn't recommend any of the drugs on the market right now. There just aren't any that I think would work for you, not with the heart disease in your family.

You might consider becoming a strict vegetarian. And by that I mean eating mostly vegetables and some lean protein. No processed foods whatsoever. Barring that, I think your best solution is gastric bypass. Not lap band. The success rate just doesn't impress me. I think you should go with gastric bypass."

I said, "But that's permanent."

He nodded and said, "Yes, but this is a disease you're going to have to deal with for the rest of your life. If you were diabetic, we wouldn't take you off your meds as soon as your blood sugar stabilized. I've seen a lot of people in your condition (morbidly obese) get a new lease on life after gastric bypass."

I left his office feeling horribly discouraged. He told me I seemed to be very well-educated on diet, supplements, exercise, and all that, and that I should be grateful I don't weigh more, that it's only because I do eat so well and exercise so much that I don't weigh much more than I do. I'm in that class of people who were built to survive the starvation times back in the days when humans were still hunting and gathering. Great.

I barely contained the tears as I sat in his office listening to him telling me I have no hope of getting down to my ideal weight. The best I can hope for is 180? Really?

He made the point that my weight hasn't fluctuated all that much, even though I've had periods of little or no activity due to injuries, and periods of lots of activity when I'm actively training. My diet doesn't change all that much. I'm stabilized at 225 - 230. That's become my body's set point.

Can you imagine?

Then I saw this really hateful blog post on Marie Claire's site. It was shared by a Facebook friend. Basically this NYC fashionista declared that fat people shouldn't be on TV, that she's uncomfortable watching a fat person walk across a room, much less get intimate on TV (some new show calle Mike and Molly or something), and why don't we just step away from the donuts and "do us (skinny people, I guess) all a favor and go for a walk." She doles out a bunch of standard diet and exercise advice, and asks people whether or not by posting this if they all feel this way, or is she just being a jerk. She got a lot of responses, all negative and in the "jerk" column, but still, I got her message.

So I came home yesterday and did an hour on the treadmill, some of it while crying -- try catching your breath between sobs at 4 mph and a level 2 incline. Today I swam half a mile. I'm feeling better. Some.

Still...gastric bypass? How am I going to fuel a century with a gastric bypass?

Ugh.

[Veronica]

Why read stuff like that? It's just not productive or healthy.

I know you have a lot of health issues and you want to weigh less, but sometimes you just have to accept your body as it is and make the best of what genetics gave you. Do the things you love doing and that make you happy. Stop worrying about some ideal weight. Love the life you've got.

As long as we live, time passes by
And we won't get it back when we die

Bowling for Soup

Veronica

[OakLeaf]

(((((((channlluv)))))))

Here, read this. http://redvinylshoes.com/ She guest-blogged for B*tch Magazine over the fall and I really loved what she had to say. The archive of her pieces for them are ... well, dang it, sometimes TE goes too far with the editing...

I can't even give you a hidden link because the software edits out the name of the magazine. Anyway, here's most of the link: http://*****magazine.org/profile/tasha-fierce You'll have to cut and paste and type in the name of the magazine yourself.

[bmccasland]

Dear Herald,
Before we go off and spend time and money with a Veternary Internist - I wish you could tell me if you are just in the winter of your years. Is it something that can be fixed, considering you're 16, or do we just try to make you comfortable? I do appreciate the fact that you've gone a whole week without throwing up, I'll forgive the icky hairball. I'm sorry you don't feel your old self.
I'm glad you felt up to eating a little dinner this evening. Maybe you just don't like what the restaurant is serving?

[malkin]

I think your expert doctor guy is really concerned with getting statistically significant results for his studies. He's given up something for it though, something like kindness, humanity, bedside manner and all the other stuff he probably wrote on his med school application essay.

Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself.

[channlluv]

Thanks. I'm actually doing better today. I've resumed logging my food and exercise in Lose It! Getting in the pool felt really good today. I may go for a ride tomorrow. Depends on how I feel when I get up.

I can only do what I can do. Not to resign myself to being happy at 230, but I can work harder at losing the 50 pounds he said I could lose.

We'll see.

Roxy

[jelee1311]

Channlluv, I'm sorry that whole sitution just sounds crappy.Kudos to you for not giving up its too bad your doctor doesn't seem to feel that way. Keep riding, swimming, or whatever works for you. Realize and tell yourself you are beautiful no matter what the scale says .

[lph]

Beth - aww, poor Herald. Don't you wish they could talk sometimes and tell you what's up?

channlluv - what a childish and snotty thing to write on a blog! And untrue, obviously, she does not speak for many people. It may not help, but I realized at some point that unless you're completely invisible in society, somebody somewhere is always going to dislike you, whether it's for your opinions or for your looks or your behaviour or, more often than not, for belonging in some way to a group they desperately want to distance themselves from.

I also really think you need a second opinion from a doctor with experience from athletes, not just weight loss as such. I don't distrust doctors in general, but I know that there are plenty of people here on TE who can verify how you can be heavy and fit at the same time, and how it's more important to focus on what you can do - like a century - than the number you weigh. It just doesn't jive to me that drastic surgery is the best option for someone who wants to be active.

[Becky]

(((((Roxy))))

Doctors really do stink sometimes...especially the ones at the top.

Does your doc have a nurse practitioner or two in his practice? They're my secret weapon! IME, they have more time and patience than most docs, and generally more compassion too. I only see my endocrinologist if I absolutely must- the rest of the time, I schedule with a NP.

Don't let him defeat you.

[bmccasland]

If Herald could talk, he'd probably say: "Baby, I don't feel good, and I don't know why. I just don't feel right."

Channlluv - living in the "itty bitty town" of San Diego, there has to be another doctor you could go to for a second opinion. Surgery is drastic. There has to be a doc out there, more into fitness than knives that could help you. Piffle on mean spirited people and their blogs - according to them, probably most of us are "fat" too - as in we aren't anorexic thin, we're fit (some more than others ), we're curvy, and we'll walk them to the ground. Let's challenge her to a 5 mile bike ride!

[Trek420]

((((Channlluv))))))

I'm sorry the Dr's are being such Richard Heads but that is what surgeons generally do, they cut, recommend cutting. You've done all the research, there's nothing wrong, now you're good to go.

Do you do intervals. hill repeats, weights? Have a coach? You're healthy, fit and strong. I'd ditch the scale. If you want to measure something measure the town line sprint, or speed up that "nemesis" hill, or a lap in the pool.

Get stronger and faster. The inches might fall off, you may still be the same weight but who cares. Being fast and strong is fun and looks great at any weight. Then if a Dr wants surgery you say:

"you, me, any day, any bike, any hill, let's go. If you can beat me you can do the surgery".

http://www.biggirlbiking.com/2010/07/i-dont/