Struggles

[sandraseigle]

Ladyjai -
It's a very positive thing that you are willing to share your story with others! I, like runnergirl, felt like I was reading about myself in your post. I'm 23, 5'5, and around 128 lbs, the only difference is that I've had 2 children...I've always been obsessed with my weight (even to the point of bulemia in high school), but I never made any real POSITIVE changes in my habits until after I had my first daughter. I tipped the scales at a good 220 lbs when she was born (talk about DEPRESSING!). I gained so much weight with her, I think, BECAUSE my idea of body image was so twisted. In highschool, I was a cheerleader, and I was popular, but I wasn't the size 3's and 5's that my friends were. As women, we have this messed up, cheuvanistic (sp?) view of the perfect female body STUFFED down our throats from the time we're old enough to sit down and watch tv. We're told (in a round-about, but very clear way) that this is a man's world, and we have to struggle to gain status, or even recognition for everything we do. This is why I think that eating disorders and obsessions are more about control than body image, really.

I've heard it said that we are very accepting of others, but we "hold ourselves hostage in the mirror." Something like that, I think everyone knows what I mean though Ladyjai (and everyone else here), I've been all those things - I've been "fat," skinny, bulemic - and healthy. I'll tell you now, healthy is the best way to be. I still stand in front of the mirror sometimes and whine about the little pudge I have at the bottom of my belly from having 2 children, or the tiny bits of cellulite here and there that I inherited from my Mother lol...but I've been through all those struggles, and I've worked hard to get where I am, and I'm proud of myself. My legs still get me where I need to go, my arms still pick up my children - remember that there are people out there that don't have whole, functional bodies - be grateful for what you have.

It sounds to me too, that you are healthy, pretty, and you at least make an effort to take care of yourself - so quit beating yourself up! Listen to your friends when they tell you how cute you are, and accept it!

Corsair Mac - How wonderful that you've gotten rid of a bad influence on your self image, and bounced back! *cheers* I really hate to see women let people - especially their husbands, how awful - put them down. I've been there, too in a way, I got pregnant with my first daughter not too long after I met her Daddy (which, btw, is still my husband, of 5 years now ), and at the time, he was pretty insensitive to that kind of thing, especially considering that I was pregnant and felt like a beached whale anyway! Fortunately, it didn't take long for him to figure out that his statements and "jokes" were hurting my feelings, BADLY, and he stopped. Now he tells me every day how beautiful I am

and you are ALL beautiful! Don't let anyone ever tell you any different (even if it's yourself! )

Love and light,

Sandra

[crazycanuck]

Ladyjai,

After reading your post i can identify with what you're saying. I've always been big and never been able to see the beauty in my body. Prior to purchasing a bike, i was a size 16 almost 18 (that's nz/oz sizes which are a bit diff to the us) and wondered if i'd ever get rid of some of the bigger bits.
I ate & had a hard time controlling my weight. I found out later that my hypothyroid didn't help and needed to take the medication regularly..not sporadically....

I sort of liked my body but somehow thought I needed to get rid of some of the excess to be liked more.

Well, we bought bikes & it's done so much for my confidence- body wise. I'm slowly getting there but feel much happier looking at my body than before. Ian often worries i'll go a bit nutty & try an extreme diet but i know how it would affect cycling. He's been very supportive and love the fact he tells me I have a shape.

I'm sure that you're a beautiful lady and who cares if society says we have to be a certain weight. Stuff societal norms...I may have a bigger body but I can mountain bike down freaky hills & do triathlons even with the fear of being stung by jellyfish....

c