Bicycle Salmon, How I Despise Thee

[DMC]

Riding across town today, I encountered 3 people salmoning up the wrong way on the bike lane in a 5 block span of a narrow one way st. This isn't anything new, but one of them came at me when I was swerving around a minivan cab that had stopped in the bike lane to let a passenger out. She came around the minivan from the wrong direction on a one way street with cars parked on both sides. I managed to pass without hitting her, but it scared the hell out of me. I stopped, turned, and hollered back that she was going the wrong way, and got a 'whatEVER' in response as she slowly pedaled her way up the street. I shot white hot death rays into her back with my eyes, but sadly, she remained unscathed, and continued on her way to blithely terrorize all who crossed her path.

I really don't have a point I'm trying to make, other than 'this happened and I am angry that it isn't an uncommon experience'. Just wanted to vent. I think cyclists in this city get a lot of grief, but when so many of them behave like this dummy, I understand why.

Anyone have any suggestions for how to convince a salmoner to stop riding upstream? Because apparently near-collisions are just too 'whatEVER' to register as possibly dangerous.

[KnottedYet]

Act like a total newbie. Steer straight at them, screaming at the top of your lungs, yelling that they're going the wrong way, yelling "what are you DOING!?!?!"

They think they are cool. Someone who is calm has no effect on them. Get hysterical. Make them react in self-defense. They are too selfish, and that's the only way to reach them.

There are plenty of selfish idiots in my neck of the woods. Making them act in self-defense is the only way to get them to pull their self-centered heads out of their self-aggrandizing butts.

[Irulan]

what is a bicycle salmon?

[HillSlugger]

what is a bicycle salmon?

a per OP: "people salmoning up the wrong way on the bike lane"; like salmon swimming upstream.

[pll]

I shot white hot death rays into her back with my eyes, but sadly, she remained unscathed, and continued on her way to blithely terrorize all who crossed her path.

Priceless! I hope the rays work better next time.

Dunno how to stop people from salmoning wantonly.

[DMC]

Act like a total newbie. Steer straight at them, screaming at the top of your lungs, yelling that they're going the wrong way, yelling "what are you DOING!?!?!"

LOLz! Oh, you just made my day!

[DMC]

a per OP: "people salmoning up the wrong way on the bike lane"; like salmon swimming upstream.

Yes, sorry. Its a term coined by BikeSnobNYC for people who go the wrong way on a one way street, especially in a bike lane. There are traditional 'bike salmon' and also 'pedi-salmon' is used to describe someone who is not only traveling up the bike lane in the wrong direction, but is in fact, WALKING in the bike lane in the wrong direction. This happens quite a bit in NYC. I don't know which breed I despise more. Probably the bike salmon, because they should know better.

[Trek420]

While I'm tempted to stop, swing my bike perpendicular to them blocking the lane and pretend you have to tie laces, tighten velcro on the shoes. but here in the wilds of the Bay Area I don't wanna start trouble.

A subtle nod of the head towards the other side of the road is about it. Even that if they are truly newbies may make them swerve into me or worse. So I just watch it.

[PamNY]

DMC, I know exactly what you mean. Wrong-way bikers scare me more than cars sometimes. What on earth are they thinking in a situation like the one you describe?

Knot, your suggestion is great. I may just do that if I get a chance where it seems safe.

[lph]

Yah, these are maybe the only cyclist group that will really make my blood boil. I seem to mostly find them moving uphill, they seem to think that because they are moving slowly it doesn't really matter which side they are on. But if I'm coming fast down a hill, using my designated space between cars on one side and the sidewalk on the other side, I have just nowhere to go if one of these dorks turn up. Plus they're totally unpredictable. Which side does a salmon swerve to?

Maybe they're the same people who use the bike lanes to park their cars in, "just for a moment cause I have to pick up something".

[hebe]

How annoying and dangerous!

I saw someone cycling the wrong way up a cycle lane on a two way street, if that makes sense. The cycle lane there is about 60cm wide so really not wide enough to abuse it.

[Eden]

Maybe its because we don't have mandatory bike lanes here, but I encounter very, very few people doing this around here. There's a one way street on my commute that I occasionally see people going the wrong way on - but sometimes I probably see as many cars go the wrong way too!

I do sometimes encounter wrong way joggers on MUPs - I think its because they've been trained to jog on the left when they are using the shoulder of the *road* and they think it translates to the trail too - which is dead wrong. I almost ran into (I think) the same dude several times last winter because he would insist on jogging on the wrong side, with no lights or reflective material on a path with a bunch of blind curves after dark. To add to it, he was always a complete @ss about it - when he was the one on the wrong side doing the stupid stuff.

[PamNY]

Explanatory note: NYC has a lot of one-way streets -- in fact, in Manhattan most of the streets are one way. Probably in Brooklyn too.

This doesn't justify anything, but it does explain why we see so much wrong-way biking.

[emily_in_nc]

Wrong-way biking is the worst. And the worst of the worst is if you're taking a semi-blind right turn and they're on the wrong side taking a left; a head-on collision is just waiting to happen. Been way too close to this situation before, and it's scary and infuriating!

[nikkoblu2]

Generally riding in NJ I don't find designated bike lanes - just the shoulder of the road. And I gotta say, I've lived in Jersey all but 1 year of my life and drivers here are uptight, in a rush and downright arrogant. So, depending on where you're riding there's a lot to pay attention to with traffic being as it is.

And when you throw idiots on bikes into the mix it gets real hairy. I ride around the Jersey shore on weekends. Between all the immigrant workers that commute to work on bikes and all the "kids" on beach cruisers, it's surprising I haven't gotten killed.

I will say the "workers" will always move out of my way usually going up on the sidewalk (not a good idea, either). But, the kids. They ride 2, 3, or 4 abreast on a wide shoulder of a busy street. No helmets, flip-flops on their feet. I put on my "get the eff out of my way" look, don't waiver even an inch and they get the idea that THEY will need to move.

DMC - I give you a lot of credit...when she tossed you that "whatever" you must have wanted to rip her a new one. I often fantasize about carrying a stash of tennis balls with me to wing at inconsiderate drivers and cyclists.