Bicycle Salmon, How I Despise Thee

[KnottedYet]

Act like a total newbie. Steer straight at them, screaming at the top of your lungs, yelling that they're going the wrong way, yelling "what are you DOING!?!?!"

They think they are cool. Someone who is calm has no effect on them. Get hysterical. Make them react in self-defense. They are too selfish, and that's the only way to reach them.

There are plenty of selfish idiots in my neck of the woods. Making them act in self-defense is the only way to get them to pull their self-centered heads out of their self-aggrandizing butts.

[Irulan]

what is a bicycle salmon?

[HillSlugger]

what is a bicycle salmon?

a per OP: "people salmoning up the wrong way on the bike lane"; like salmon swimming upstream.

[DMC]

a per OP: "people salmoning up the wrong way on the bike lane"; like salmon swimming upstream.

Yes, sorry. Its a term coined by BikeSnobNYC for people who go the wrong way on a one way street, especially in a bike lane. There are traditional 'bike salmon' and also 'pedi-salmon' is used to describe someone who is not only traveling up the bike lane in the wrong direction, but is in fact, WALKING in the bike lane in the wrong direction. This happens quite a bit in NYC. I don't know which breed I despise more. Probably the bike salmon, because they should know better.

[DMC]

Act like a total newbie. Steer straight at them, screaming at the top of your lungs, yelling that they're going the wrong way, yelling "what are you DOING!?!?!"

LOLz! Oh, you just made my day!

[nikkoblu2]

Generally riding in NJ I don't find designated bike lanes - just the shoulder of the road. And I gotta say, I've lived in Jersey all but 1 year of my life and drivers here are uptight, in a rush and downright arrogant. So, depending on where you're riding there's a lot to pay attention to with traffic being as it is.

And when you throw idiots on bikes into the mix it gets real hairy. I ride around the Jersey shore on weekends. Between all the immigrant workers that commute to work on bikes and all the "kids" on beach cruisers, it's surprising I haven't gotten killed.

I will say the "workers" will always move out of my way usually going up on the sidewalk (not a good idea, either). But, the kids. They ride 2, 3, or 4 abreast on a wide shoulder of a busy street. No helmets, flip-flops on their feet. I put on my "get the eff out of my way" look, don't waiver even an inch and they get the idea that THEY will need to move.

DMC - I give you a lot of credit...when she tossed you that "whatever" you must have wanted to rip her a new one. I often fantasize about carrying a stash of tennis balls with me to wing at inconsiderate drivers and cyclists.

[lph]

I often fantasize about carrying a stash of tennis balls with me to wing at inconsiderate drivers and cyclists.

O yes. But in a fantasy world they'd be a bit softer and filled with ketchup

[GLC1968]

O yes. But in a fantasy world they'd be a bit softer and filled with ketchup

Eggs.

(no, I would never do this...but I fantasize about it all the time - sue me)

[spokewench]

Generally riding in NJ I don't find designated bike lanes - just the shoulder of the road. And I gotta say, I've lived in Jersey all but 1 year of my life and drivers here are uptight, in a rush and downright arrogant. So, depending on where you're riding there's a lot to pay attention to with traffic being as it is.

And when you throw idiots on bikes into the mix it gets real hairy. I ride around the Jersey shore on weekends. Between all the immigrant workers that commute to work on bikes and all the "kids" on beach cruisers, it's surprising I haven't gotten killed.

I will say the "workers" will always move out of my way usually going up on the sidewalk (not a good idea, either). But, the kids. They ride 2, 3, or 4 abreast on a wide shoulder of a busy street. No helmets, flip-flops on their feet. I put on my "get the eff out of my way" look, don't waiver even an inch and they get the idea that THEY will need to move.

DMC - I give you a lot of credit...when she tossed you that "whatever" you must have wanted to rip her a new one. I often fantasize about carrying a stash of tennis balls with me to wing at inconsiderate drivers and cyclists.

I've been trying to figure out what to do with all the used tennis balls in my garage - I think I'll start a business selling them to irate bike riders!

[withm]

Dealing with wrong way cyclists is something that I have to do all summer long. I generally try to hold my line but on Rt 26 where the designated bike lane is but 3' wide that is not a place to play "chicken." But I always ask "Why are you riding on the wrong side of the road? Don't you understand how dangerous it is?" Of course by that time I'm long gone and they haven't heard a word. Our culprits fall into two categories - the international students here for summer beach resort jobs and the retirees on their beach cruisers totally oblivious to their surroundings. I did have one of them yell at me first.... LOL! Occasionally I see someone fully kitted out, complete with helmet, headphones, on expensive bikes going the wrong way - and for the life of me I can't figure that one out.

Last summer I posted pages about the wrong way cyclist on the bulletin boards at the library, post office, and grocery stores but I doubt it had much effect.

Sometimes I feel like the salmon.

[Trek420]

Where is the jersey that has the "wrong way" sign printed on the front.

[DMC]

I was thinking the same, in a way, but it would be pretty hard to convice someone you are a newbie while wearing spandex on a flashy bike. Luckily, or unluckily, there aren't too many cyclists here that aren't experienced riders, except for those on the sidewalks.

Yeah, I'm fully roadie'd out, so unfortunately that gives me a few disadvantages. One being I look like I know what I'm doing, the other being (in the words of my husband) 'once you put on those bike shorts and cycling shoes, you instantly look like an a$$hole'. (I think I look like a sexy superhero. )

I try to smile and be as friendly as I can, because the cycling community are usually immediately turned off by the roadie/tri contingent. A lot of roadies here are pretty aggressive and it doesn't make people want to listen to me if I throw out too much 'tude. So I try to smile a lot. Even an 'On your left' can get a hostile reaction from the cycling clueless, but if I sound cheery when I say it, it helps.

DMC - I give you a lot of credit...when she tossed you that "whatever" you must have wanted to rip her a new one. I often fantasize about carrying a stash of tennis balls with me to wing at inconsiderate drivers and cyclists.

I always imagine stone cold, knocking someone OUT whenever they are rude enough to say 'whatever'. It is the MOST passive aggressive way to say 'F You'. It is a way of escalating a confrontation under the guise of backing off. Gah, I HATE 'whatever'.

If dudes said 'whatever' to each other the way chicks do, and with the frequency chicks use it...I think a lot of dudes would be getting punched in the mouth.

[alexis_the_tiny]

Here, we don't have bike lanes but we do have bike salmons. Unfortunately, they're usually migrant workers or old folks riding their bikes (sometimes with grandkids on them) on the road. In the wrong direction. Scary as hell but its not nice to freak out at an old person.

The one salmon that really took the cake was this dude, who was riding against traffic on a five lane road absolutely PACKED with cars, weaving back and forth across the lanes (and get this) while sniffing glue.

[nikkoblu2]

It is the MOST passive aggressive way to say 'F You'. It is a way of escalating a confrontation under the guise of backing off. Gah, I HATE 'whatever'.

Incredibly well put...maybe that's why I want to knock the living crap out of someone when I hear it. Ya think we NY/NJ girls need to learn to chill a little? Sometimes I wonder, but then I think how polite I am to people when they show courtesy and how apologetic I am if I inconvenience someone else with my faux pas.

Yeah...it's not us...it's them