LOL, this is from the Kindle Board but it is too funny not to share.

The post is by NookNoMore and titled "Nook Be Gone! Kindle Is My New Knight in Shining Graphite!"

I was once a sinner. Last Christmas I found myself perplexed untangling the intricacies of the age old question "Should I buy the Nook or the Kindle?" The Kindle was my first choice, the solid kingdom of Amazon behind this firm reader, the better prices, the better selection, it was looking to be a Kindle Christmas indeed until I researched the Nook. I am ashamed to admit it but I was seduced by the Nook the very first night I laid eyes on this maiden. It might have been her Android system or her shiny color screen but whatever it was my credit card was out of my wallet faster than the fat lady whips out her silverware at Home Town Buffet.

After a delay, being the Nook was in its infancy, a fresh child delivered for the world the coddle, it took extra time for the delivery. But, on Christmas day, as odd as it seems yes I made myself wait for Christmas to open my own gift, I tore into the package like a teenage virgin undresses his date on prom night. I stared at her body for a solid 10 minutes before I began to explore her wonders. It was then my nostrils began to burn with an aroma I had smelled before. It was the smell of fresh poo. This new child, this infant, had pooed herself.

The battery life lasted just slightly longer than that teenage sack of hormones on prom night. And the dictionary function. O yes, the dictionary function. Besides every other word not being in the dictionary......the amount of time it took to scroll down to the word in question.... It was often after finally getting the definition (when available) I would walk outside and cast my eyes to the heavens looking for Jesus's second coming. It had taken so long I was sure the rapture was near or perhaps I had missed it and Jesus was so mad over my Nook buying decision he left me behind. I sent my squire off on my trusted horse to the kingdom of Barnes and Nobel to give to their King Lord Nobel. The message was a recommendation that a warning box pop up on the eink screen of the nook when a user tried to use the dictionary. "PLEASE REMOVE ALL SHARP OBJECTS WITHIN A HALF A MILE FROM YOUR PRESENCE BEFORE ATTEMPTING TO USE THE DICTIONARY". I did this because I care about people across this great flat land.

It was only this week that I began to court another Maiden, Lady Kindle. Lady Kindle was unquestionable lighter than Lady Nook, who obviously spent much of her free time in the Castle's Kitchen feasting on cake, pie, racks of lamb, and jars of Lard. She was a little heavy compared to Lady Kindle. Lady Kindle did not share the dictionary problem. You could use her 5 way (don't ask) to navigate down to the word and BAM there was the definition. I found this Kinky and it turned me on very much.

I bought my new Lady Kindle a case, the black one with the light, and a wrapasol protector for the screen and the front and back of the device. I loved how the case Looked on Lady Kindle. Sexy. Classy. It turned me into a mad wild beast of lust. What I didn't like was her underwear, the Wrapasol, it annoyed me thus I demanded she take off her underwear. I declared a rule onto all of my kingdom that COMMANDO was the only way to strut your stuff. I loved her physcial keyboard so much more than the digital hoopla Lady Nook had. One day this might be satisfying but for now Lady Kindle has the right stuff. I looked Lady Nook in the eye and told her I was selling her on eBay to another Kingdom. She asked me Why and I replied "Lady Nook you never satisfied me!"

I am a sinner no more! HAIL KINDLE!

Thank you for reading!

Lord Graphite